One Year On
by xxpipxx
Summary: In one year, everything changes. JARA
1. Chapter 1

Mara would always look back upon the day where she and Mick washed up in the kitchen together. She would always remember the way he'd flicked the washing up bubbles into her face, how they'd ran round the kitchen laughing, and how she'd done the fateful thing, she'd given in, and they'd gotten back together. She would always look back upon that day, but after a few months she would only think back on it with regret.

It was funny, because for weeks afterwards she'd remember that day as the day where she'd been happiest, the day where something good began. However, she never thought about the reason they'd broken up in the first place, she'd almost forgotten the election and the fighting. Back then, she presumed she was just in awe that someone like Mick would ever care enough to like someone like her the same way.

In three weeks and two days, that day would be a year ago, and as it got increasingly closer it became the reminder of how much things had changed.

Mara hadn't even remembered their anniversary, but Mick had. Mick had been dropping hints for days about something he'd been planning, something that she was going to absolutely love. Most girlfriends would feel ecstatic to have a boyfriend that cared that much, though Mara just felt guilty. Mick had never done anything wrong, he had never gotten angry or argued with her. He'd always been the considerate, fun guy that he'd always been.

And that made it so much worse.

She would often wonder whether she had changed during the year, whether she had suddenly matured and became a different person with different wants and a different personality. But in reality, they were just too different. Patricia had warned her about it, but she thought that because they'd been getting along fine at the time, that it would work out.

But in one year, everything changes. In one year, while Mick's feelings grew, Mara's disappeared, and she finally realised that her and Mick should never have gone out in the first place. It took a year for Mara to sit back and think about the times when she felt the most comfortable, when she felt the least pressured into impressing someone, and that was when she'd been friends with Jerome. While it took no time at all for Mara to accidentally terminate their friendship, simply by choosing Mick, it took a year for Mara to realise that Jerome might have been the one to choose in the first place. Whether as friends or more than that, she still wasn't quite sure how she felt, but it would have saved her the guilt. _So much guilt._

Though on Jerome's side, it only took a second for Mara to shatter his heart into pieces, but it took slightly less than a year for him to finally move on. It had been hard, and he had struggled, but a year later and he could finally look at her and feel nothing. He would laugh at himself for his stupid little crush, and wondered why on earth it had taken so long to get over it. Now she was Mara, the girl from his house, who he had once been quite close to. Nothing more, nothing less. Now when they bumped into each other in the hallway he could smile without feeling nervous, now it was back to normal.

Now, everything had changed.

**Hey :)**

**This is somewhat of an intro. Wanted to take a new spin on the normal Jara story, so it's kind of like the opposite to normal.**

**Can I just add, I'm loving the recent outburst of Jara stories on here. Much love to all authors, spread the Jara love ;)**

**Pip xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

_You're a horrible person. You shouldn't be leading him on like that. He doesn't deserve it._

Mara had been replaying these thoughts around in her head all morning. Like every morning, she was waiting for Mick to finish his run, where he would then greet her in the dining room. And like every morning, a little part of her was dreading it.

The hard thing was that she honestly didn't want to hurt him. He had been nothing below a perfect boyfriend over the last year, but he wasn't _her _perfect boyfriend. The spark (in her eyes anyway) had died out long ago, and she had accepted that they were friends, best friends even, but no more. But no matter how much she had practised breaking up with him in front of the mirror, she couldn't bring herself to do it. He meant a lot to her, and she couldn't do that to him.

_You're a horrible person._

When he finally slid into the room, tiny beads of sweat dripping off his forehead, he grinned at her before placing a soft kiss on her lips.

"Hey babe," he said, still grinning. "I gotta hit the shower, but I'll see you soon."

Mara smiled the smile she'd perfected over the last few weeks. The smile that was content, but ultimately fake. She realised now that the familiar feeling in the pit of her chest that she experienced whenever Mick kissed her was still there, just like at the beginning of their relationship, but now it was no longer about the adrenaline and the excitement, now it was simply guilt.

"Mara?" a voice called, though she wasn't entirely focusing. "Mara!"

She jumped suddenly, snapping out of the small trance that she was under. She looked up to see Patricia, who was looking at her with a slightly amused expression.

"Sorry..." Mara mumbled. "I was...lost in thought."

"Aww, thinking about lover boy were you?" Patricia said with a slight sneer.

Mara simply smiled again, biting her lip slightly to repress the feelings she was desperate to let out. But it wouldn't help. She'd gotten herself into this mess, and she would have to get herself out of it.

"Well, snap out of it and let's go. We'll be late." Said Patricia, pulling Mara away from the table with one arm and leading her out the door.

Jerome Clarke watched this little spectacle with some amusement. Patricia definitely had a habit of slightly bullying people into doing her bidding, and this was just another small example. He felt calmer now he could put the whole Mara saga behind him. There was no more stress, no more feelings of pure self loathing and worthlessness. Just calm. He had watched Mick greet her and no longer had the overwhelming desire to punch him the face. Instead, he felt...almost happy for them? It was strange, because Jerome Clarke thought he would want to continue to mock them, but he no longer felt the need.

He walked to school alone, lingering slightly to avoid being the third wheel amongst some other happy couple. Slightly ahead, Mara and Mick were walking side by side, Mick chattering away eagerly about how excited he was about their anniversary. _Three weeks, one day._ When he casually put his arm around her, Mara couldn't help but flinch slightly. It was all wrong, she wasn't meant to be feeling like this. Half the girls in school were dying to go out with the one and only Mick Campbell, and a year ago she was one of them. And now she would be forever known as the girl who led him on and then knocked him down.

_At least, _she thought as she walked to school, _at least Mick doesn't notice the constant flinching and awkward expressions. _And that was true, he was far too engrossed in the current story he was telling to notice.

Jerome however, who was still around twenty metres behind them, had. He wasn't sure of the reason, but in his eyes, Mara's body language was far from normal. She was walking stiffly, as if in great discomfort, and this seemed to increase every time Mick's arm tightened around her waist. He was oddly curious, because this behaviour was highly unusual. Mara, as the proud school representative would normally walk confidently. For the most part, she had always been content with who she was, and never acted as if she was uncomfortable with anything in her life. Above all, Mara was happy.

Mara was unaware, but Jerome continued to study her closely for the remainder of the journey. He didn't know why it was making him so curious, he assumed she was probably feeling ill or something was worrying her, school stuff maybe... It was lucky for Mara at this point that she didn't know Jerome's eyes were fixed upon her. She didn't want anyone to catch on to how she was acting, because she worried that someone would tell Mick before she could. That would be even worse.

The rest of the day went like every day. Lessons were never a problem; Mick was used to her wanting to concentrate fully on the teacher anyway, so he never tried to distract her. And she would spend the rest of the day trying to find new excuses not to spend time with him. Often she would go to the library, but today she found herself eating lunch with Patricia.

They were sat relatively quietly in the drama room, along with most of the rest of their year. Mara had told Mick she needed to have a 'catch up' with Patricia, and he had simply laughed at the idea, but she could tell he didn't really mind. She almost wished that he was acting like he had when he had been dating Amber, when he had been angry if she missed a date or if she made excuses not to see him. But just Mara's luck, the one time she actually _wanted _someone to break up with her, it didn't look likely at all.

"Not with Mick today?" Patricia asked. It was a casual question, but the mention of his name was all it took for Mara to feel instantly uncomfortable.

"No," said Mara hastily. "I mean, he's just over there...I don't have to see him _every _lunchtime..."

She was babbling, and Patricia being Patricia picked up on it instantly.

"Alright, calm down!" she joked. "You guys ok?"

Mara could feel her eyes widen dramatically.

"Yes, it's all fine. Everything's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

Patricia didn't look convinced, but Mara managed to change the subject. She knew deep down that this couldn't go on. She was making getting through each day a sheer struggle.

Jerome was watching this little interaction as well. Sat on the adjacent table with Alfie, he was able to hear everything, and he was even more intrigued after hearing the sheer panic in Mara's voice, seeing the expression on her face. Something was definitely bothering her, that was for sure.

Jerome probably shouldn't have gotten involved, after all, he hadn't spoken to Mara in months...but he had always been inquisitive, though some would prefer to call it nosy. The truth was, he knew his curiosity would get the better of him.

So just like that, Jerome Clarke set it upon himself to find out the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that night, Jerome was casually sat on an armchair reading a book, but sneaking glances over the top every few seconds. He could have made more of an effort to be inconspicuous, but he knew he wouldn't get caught. Mara, the object of his spying, was only paying attention to Mick, and whatever was bothering her.

Her behaviour had gotten more skittish as the evening progressed. What started out as slight flinches and panicked expressions had now transformed into Mara having her head down almost permanently, biting her lip as she did. Mara knew that it may look obvious, but she couldn't allow her housemates to see the guilt on her face, because surely it was obvious by now. She was finding it ok just talking to Mick, when the conversation was about something general. She had never had any problems with talking to him, and she hoped she never would. _Though, _she thought, _He won't want to talk to you after he realises you don't love him anymore. _It was only when he kissed her, or put an arm around her shoulders, or held her hand...that was when it got to her. And when he'd talk about their upcoming one year anniversary, or how he was feeling, or how much he'd missed her. She wondered how long it would be until he'd finally notice...

While Jerome was pretending to read, Mick was telling Mara about his new training programme. Mara was somewhat relieved, as she genuinely liked helping Mick with his sports.

"And every day I have to run at least 1000m, to improve stamina..." he said, while she nodded her head. "And also...wait, do you have the time?"

"It's seven thirty, why?" Mara replied after glimpsing at her watch.

"Damn, I forgot that I agreed to do an extra basketball practice tonight. Sorry babes, I gotta run."

He leapt up from the table at great speed, pausing briefly to kiss her goodbye, and then ran out of the room. Mara visibly relaxed, feeling a great flood of relief wash over her. She could be calmer now, she wouldn't have to pretend. She closed her eyes briefly, enjoying the rare moment of solitude, and when she reopened them, she was staring into a familiar pair of crystal blue eyes.

"God, Jerome! Don't sneak up on people like that!"

He had meant to be more discreet, but now Mick was gone he had an opportunity. He smiled deviously as she looked at him with a slight glare on her face. He had taken her by surprise, and he liked that. That was how he operated.

"Just keeping you company," he said. "You looked a little lost without lover boy fawning over you."

She looked him up and down, not knowing what to say. She wanted to carry on pretending that it was all fine, that she and Mick were deeply in love. But there was a part of her that didn't want to talk about Mick with Jerome. Jerome was...different to Mick. She couldn't really say too much, because for all she knew he'd completely changed over the last year. But she remembered before, when he told her – and _only _her – about his secret past, and she remembered how he'd looked...so small and broken. _That _side of Jerome would always be there, but she'd have to break down his walls again.

"I'm fine thanks," was all she managed in the end.

"Really?" he said. "Because you didn't look it earlier."

Her eyes widened in surprise. He'd seen, she'd been too obvious. She knew having drama as one of her weakest subjects was going to come and slap her in the face one day.

"I don't know what you mean," she said, trying desperately to stay calm. "I'm fine."

"Come on, Jaffray. I've known you for years. Don't think I don't notice when people start acting weirdly."

He looked at her, feeling slightly victorious. He could tell by her expression that there _was _something up, and something she didn't want to admit either. Mara was certainly panicking right now, that was for sure...but she was also experiencing a certain level of curiosity. Jerome had noticed that she was acting strangely...but that meant he'd been paying attention to her. And as much as she hated herself for it, the thought of that gave her a little thrill. _Stop it, Mara. You're with Mick._

"Not objecting? I thought not." He said, causing Mara to snap back into reality.

"Wait! I _am _objecting. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

"I'm not trying to attack you here Mara, I'm simply curious. Surely you should be happy that _someone _at least cares enough to ask about it."

_Yeah, and you used to care even more, _he thought. But he finally felt comfortable now in rebuilding a relationship with her, where they could be friends, and he could be happy about it. He had thought before that talking to her would cause all his repressed feeling to jump back out with an almighty bang, but he doubted that now. The feelings weren't repressed anymore. In fact, now, there were no feelings to repress.

"There's nothing to ask about," she said, stubbornly, though at this point they both knew it was a lie.

"Then why are you fidgeting so much? Looks to me like you're nervous."

"Sorry, but you're making me feel a little uncomfortable."

That was true. Jerome _was _making her feel uncomfortable, but it was only because being in such close proximity to him was causing her heart to speed up slightly. She was close enough to breathe in the scent of his deodorant, close enough to grab him. And although she wasn't entirely sure if she _liked _Jerome like that, she feared it was getting that way. Plenty enough to feel a little uncomfortable, that's for sure.

"I'm only asking. Though I'm surprised Mick hasn't asked already."

"Huh?" she said, snapping out of yet another trance at the mention of Mick's name.

"I _said, _I'm surprised Mick hadn't asked you why you've been acting weirdly."

"It doesn't concern Mick!" she said hastily, and then shut her eyes in annoyance, realising in effect that she was admitting to something being wrong.

"Ok, so we've established that something is wrong. Care to spill, Jaffray?"

" Leave it, Jerome, would you?" she said, standing up and walking away, anxious to get out of there before she said anything else.

"I could always ask Mick to find out?" he said, and as she froze, he smiled slightly. _Bingo. It's to do with Mick 'perfect' Campbell._

"Don't." She said.

"Don't what?"

"Please don't tell Mick anything. Please, Jerome." She said desperately, looking at him hoping to find a single look of compassion on his face. "Please."

"Only if you tell me what it is that's bothering you..."

"Later. I will later. I have to go..." she said, running out of the room, heart beating rapidly, and a small feeling of nausea creeping through her body.

Jerome watched her leave, his curiosity growing even more.

_And the plot thickens, as they say, _he thought, smiling to himself with an evil glint in his eye.

**Hi,**

**Sorry it's short. Sorry it's late. Bit of a stressful week, let's just say I was in the same situation as Mick is in this story...kinda messy.**

**Much love, will update faster now :)**

**xxxxx**


	4. Chapter 4

Mara twiddled her hair nervously as she watched Mick talking to the doorman. She didn't want to be here, she really didn't, but she couldn't say no this time. It wasn't as simple as "are you free on Tuesday?", where you could invent plans that would get you out of it. No, this time he had asked specifically when she was free, and she had to go.

The restaurant was fancy, and Mara didn't like that. Fancy meant expensive, and Mick wanted to pay. As they were led to their table, she gazed at the immaculately laid out cutlery, the dim lighting, and the array of expensive looking sculptures. It was all a bit too much, and she was already counting down the seconds until she could leave.

"Just in case you're wondering," Mick said with a smile on his face. "This is nothing compared to what I have planned for our anniversary."

_Two weeks, five days. _

Mara smiled at him weakly, so as not to invite him to say anymore. She hated not telling him, but she was scared, she was so scared. But by now she knew that she had to break up with him. Not today, she couldn't do it on an official date. But soon. It would have to be soon. It would hurt him, she knew that, but the longer she waited the more it would hurt, and the more insane she'd go.

Her charade was starting to fall through though. It had taken Mick a while to notice, but he could tell that something was different. He remembered when she looked so pleased to see him each day, how she'd grab his hand as they walked down the road, and how she'd beam so widely after he kissed her. She was still friendly, she still seemed happy to talk to him...she was just so _distant_. He tried not to let it bother him, but throughout the night he noticed more and more that she wasn't herself...and he didn't understand _why._

Mara still hadn't worked up the courage to tell Jerome what was wrong. He'd tried of course, for the last three days to get it out of her, but she told him the same thing every time. '_Not now, later.' _It only made her more nervous, there was a constant feeling of being sick to the stomach every time she saw Jerome and Mick talking, or even sitting in the same room together. Jerome was never someone you were sure if you could trust, so she always feared he would tell Mick, tell him that something was wrong. And then he would ask, and it would be horrific.

She waited while Mick paid for the meal, which was of course horribly expensive. They left the restaurant, and he placed an arm around her waist, drawing her in closer. She tentatively placed one in return around his, though it felt wrong, it felt _fake._ They walked back relatively quickly, and both of them remained quiet. Mara was awkward, and Mick was once again confused. This wasn't Mara, something was different, something had changed. He would have been upset, but he constantly assured himself that she was probably just tired, and that she loved him. That wouldn't change, right?

It was gone ten o clock by the time they returned, but Trudy had given them permission. And to be honest, it was common knowledge now that Victor wasn't as bothered as he used to be about his ten o clock rule. Mara assumed it was because now they were older, more mature. However, most of the rest of their housemates knew that after the incident with the cup, he had lost the will to do a lot of things. Though Mara and Mick had never found out about Sibuna, and since there had been no more meetings for nearly a year, no one felt that they needed to know any more.

Mara's heart began beating heavily as they entered the hallway. She knew what was coming. Mick would kiss her goodnight, and she'd be flooded with guilt, and the whole experience would be horrible. He looked at her and smiled briefly, and she remembered the adrenaline she used to feel when she used to see this smile.

He leant his head down towards hers, so that his blonde hair brushed against her forehead. He kissed her lightly, and although he couldn't be happier, Mara just needed to escape. She waited until a second or two had passed, and then pulled back, smiled quickly, and walked quickly up the stairs. She tried to tell herself that he wouldn't have noticed. She had still kissed him, so he couldn't complain, could he?

Though Mick was now curious, even more so than before. He walked slowly back to his room, thinking about when the goodnight kiss lasted several minutes. _But it's probably nothing_, he thought. _She's just pretty stressed at the moment with school and things._

Jerome had heard them come back into the house, and had managed to watch their farewell exchange without being noticed. He witnessed Mara pull back, and then run away as if Mick had been trying to attack her. He saw the look of bewilderment on her boyfriends face, and thought he might have got it all figured out. He only needed to confront her about it.

Smiling slightly, he scanned the hallway with his eyes, searching amongst the shadows and the silhouettes, until his eyes met a small, brown handbag. _Mara's. _He chuckled to himself, walking over to pick it up, assuming that Mara hadn't remembered to hold on to it in her desperate plight to escape Mick's clutches.

"Are you alright, Mara?" Patricia asked as the door burst open to their room, revealing a somewhat distressed girl on the other side.

"Yeah, just...didn't want to be late for curfew..."

Patricia rolled her eyes, wondering internally how much of a goody two shoes you'd have to be to worry about breaking curfew after you had _permission _to do so.

"Right, well at least you're back, cause I need to borrow your phone. I need to text my dad back, but I ran out of credit..."

"Yeah, sure...have mine..." said Mara, head still reeling from the disastrous evening. She reached for the empty space under her arm where her bag usually hung, and swore to herself. "Hang on, must be downstairs."

She peered out of the door slightly cautiously, worried that Mick may be upstairs for whatever reason. Seeing no one, she crept down the stairs, and began checking the floor.

"Looking for something?"

She jumped out of her skin, and as she shot upright she saw a figure in the doorway, leaning casually against the doorframe, and twiddling her bag in their hands. There was no doubt that it was Jerome, she had recognised him instantly from the voice.

"Talk to me." He said, turning on his heels and walking into the living room. She was undoubtedly annoyed, but also fairly thrilled to be up late with Jerome. He had obviously picked up the bag, obviously _wanted _to talk to her.

She sat beside him on the sofa, trying to ignore her increased heart rate and the desire to move even closer. He was looking at her with a familiar expression. The slightly crooked smile and the slight glint in his eye.

"I know." He said matter of factly, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Know what?" she said, slightly mesmerised by his smile. She hadn't even considered what it is he might know.

"Why you're acting funny." He said, smiling more as she twigged, and bit her lip. "I mean, I knew it was to do with Mick. But watching you tonight-"

"Wait? You were _watching _me?"

"That's not important. The important thing is, you flinch when Mick touches you, you run away when he tries to kiss you. Looks a lot like guilt to me."

She sighed, shutting her eyes in resignation.

"So _I think_," he continued. "That you must have cheated on him."

"Wait, _what_?"

She was stunned, she was so sure that he knew. She looked at him, still sat there with a knowing expression on his face.

"Well there's no other logical explanation..."

"Do you really think that I'd do something like that? I _definitely _haven't cheated on him! It's just..."

"Just what?" he said, somewhat victoriously. "You said you'd tell me, anyway. And I can always go and share my findings with the meathead himself..."

"_No!_"

She looked at him, and when he only raised his eyebrows further, she sighed again.

"Fine. I need to break up with him, I just don't feel the same way anymore. But he's so _lovely _to me all the time, and, and...I _can't_."

Jerome was a little bit stunned. He'd never even considered this, but it somehow made sense, looking back at her behaviour over the last few days. He'd always assumed Mara was so head over heels in love with the idiot that they'd stay together for as long as _he _wanted to."

"Well _that's_ an interesting development. Tell me, Mara. Am I the only one that you've told?" he said, and she nodded. "Well...I feel rather privileged now."

He threw her bag back towards her, standing up at the same time.

"Well, I have what I came for. Time for bed, I think." He said, walking out of the room.

"Wait! You have to promise not to tell Mick!"

"Ten pounds." He said, sensing an opportunity for money when he saw it.

"What? I can't pay you ten pounds!"

"Then I can't _promise _anything..."

Chuckling to himself, Jerome left the living room, leaving Mara practically paralysed with fear, petrified of what was in store. She had to break up with him, she had to. And she had to do it before Jerome told him.


	5. Chapter 5

Jerome was never actually planning on telling Mick anything, but he liked keeping Mara on her toes. And besides, it was far more interesting to see when she'd actually get the guts to tell him. Jerome knowing though had caused Mara to turn from a calm rational person into a paranoid, panicked version of herself.

He found himself watching her over breakfast, amused by the darting glances she kept making at him, a message clear in her eyes. _Don't you dare. Please. _

"Mick?" he asked, and Mara looked like she was about to cry. "Can you pass the orange juice?"

Mara breathed a deep sigh of relief, and Jerome flashed her a killer smile. He was messing with her now, and he had slightly crossed the line, but it was mildly entertaining and it passed the time.

Mara got out of there as soon as she could. She could feel the tension engulfing her, and it had to stop, she couldn't be in the room with them anymore. She would do it today, after school. She had to.

"Sooo, Jerome..." Alfie said as the two boys were walking to class a short while later. "Dragged yourself away from staring at Mara then?"

"What do you mean?"

"I _mean_, that you spent the entirety of breakfast with your eyes glued to her face. You don't like her _again _do you?"

"No," said Jerome. "No I don't. And I didn't realise I was staring at her, daydreaming..."

It was only half a lie. He was conscious that he had been staring at her pretty obviously, but then he knew that he didn't like her. Otherwise, he'd have told Mick as soon as he heard, just to break them up even sooner.

"Well, even so, try not to stare at her for so long next time. Mick didn't look too impressed."

"Well, it's not like-" he said, before stopping himself. He wasn't going to spill Mara's darkest secret to Alfie, not when he was rather enjoying seeing how it all panned out, and especially as he knew not even Patricia knew about this.

"Not like what?" Alfie asked, looking slightly impatient.

"Not like Mick would so anything about it. He's too much of a meathead for that..."

"Yeah," said Alfie, laughing. "Yeah, you're right bro. So have you done Winkler's homework yet?"

Jerome relaxed, glad to be off topic, and settled into a casual conversation with Alfie that continued as they sat at the back of the history classroom. Jerome was happy to see Mara and Mick already sat in their seats, and as he walked past her, she shot him a panicked look, miming 'help' as Mick looked elsewhere.

Mara was almost counting down the seconds until school ended, and she was partly looking forward to the relief that would come with it, but dreading it as well. Mick would be hurt, he might cry...and she would be left feeling horribly guilty, and it would be terribly awkward for weeks to come. _But better now than later, _she thought. _Better now than when he's taking you out for your anniversary._ But until school ended, now she was stuck with the constant lie.

She managed to escape at morning break, dashing quickly to the girl's toilets. She spent around five minutes just leaning over the sink, staring at her own panicked reflection in the mirror, trying to focus on breathing.

"You'll have to come out soon, you know."

Mara spun round quickly, not too surprised to see Jerome standing behind her. She had been too transfixed on her problems that he hadn't even noticed him come in.

"The girls bathroom? Again? _Really?"_

He chuckled slightly, leaning back against the wall. He had ceased to feel uncomfortable in the girls bathroom a long time ago, it was always a good place to find out information...and to corner people where they least expected it.

"You know me, Mara," he said, smiling slightly. "You feeling ok today?"

"Leave it, Jerome. You know perfectly well that I'm not." She said, slightly irritated. He was playing with her, and that was getting annoying. Though on the other hand, he was interested, he was giving her attention...

"Well, I'll leave you to it. Looks like you've got it all under control anyway," he said with a smirk, turning on his heels and heading for the door.

"Wait. Jerome." She said, watching him turn to face her again. "Help me."

She didn't know why she was asking someone like _him _for help, he hadn't exactly been helpful so far, but he was the only thing she had left, he was the only one she _could _ask for help.

"Help?" he asked, suddenly genuinely confused. "What with?"

"I'm breaking up with Mick, today. What should I do? How do you break up with someone and not hurt them?"

"Sorry Mara, but if he loves you, it's impossible. Someone always gets hurt."

He had been hurt in the past. Loving someone was a dangerous game, and it was more than likely always going to lead to hurt. He was beginning to think, judging by his own experiences and his obvervations of his housemates, that love wasn't even worth it. With the exception of Nina and Fabian, who were still happy together, no one else's relationships had been exactly wonderous. And even Fabian and Nina had a hard time getting together in the first place...

He left the bathroom, not knowing what else to say, and left Mara in the pure turmoil that she was in. She debated just staying in there for the rest of the day, but then people would look for her, people would ask her what was wrong. Instead, she dried her eyes, and walked out ready to face the world.

By the time school ended, she couldn't even stomach the thought of food, but she had to go through with it. Tapping Mick briefly on the shoulder at the end of English, she asked him if they could hang out, and he more than happily agreed. He was just happy that for once _she _was the one asking to do something, but he could still tell that something was wrong. She didn't say a word as they headed for a nearby bench on the campus, and he could see her hand shaking very slightly.

"Mick, I-" she started, not knowing what to do, what she could say. Any previous thoughts she'd had on how she could do this had disappeared.

"Mara, what's up with you? You've been acting really weirdly recently."

She sighed. Her charade was over, and there was no use pretending anymore.

"Mick, I'm so sorry, it's just, I mean..." she whispered, tears spilling over her eyes. "I don't want to hurt you..."

He grabbed one of her hands, shocked by how fragile she looked.

"What's wrong, please tell me? We can get through this together."

That had only made it worse, and Mara felt her heart sink even deeper into her chest. There was no way this could get any easier, she had to do it, she had to say it now.

"I'm so sorry Mick. I really am. But I-I-I just don't...I just don't feel the same way about you anymore."

He didn't say anything, and when Mara risked a glance, he was staring ahead as if in a daze, and she could see his eyes watering slightly.

"Mick, say something."

"But we were happy." Was all he managed to say, looking at her with a pained expression.

"We were. And I still love you Mick, I'm just not _in _love with you anymore."

"I see."

For a while, they just sat there, neither of them having anything to say. Mara at least felt somewhat relieved, having had such large a burden finally taken away from her, but she knew Mick was crushed, and that made her feel awful. She tentatively put a hand on his shoulder, hopefully as a comfort, to let him know that she wasn't going to stop being his friend.

Finally, after a painful ten minutes, he spoke.

"Is there someone else?"

"No, this isn't about anyone else, this is just about me."

He nodded, and she thought that at least it could have been worse. Though she still felt like she'd been lying, because in a way, there _was_ someone else.

She knew it deep down, even if she couldn't admit it properly.

For the last few weeks, there had been Jerome.

**My sincerest apologies.**

**I was at Reading Festival Thursday-Monday, so that's why I haven't updated in an age.**

**Sorrrryyy, don't be mad at me :(**

**xxxxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

By the evening meal, everyone could tell that something had changed between Mara and Mick. Mick had hardly said a word since the two of them had returned to the house together, he was simply lost to the world. In all honesty, he was confused. This had all happened so fast, and he hadn't really had the time to see it coming. And for once in his life, Mick Campbell the heartbreaker was truly hurt. The one girl he'd really loved, the one girl he could vaguely imagine a future with had broken his heart, and he didn't really know how to react. He wasn't really one for crying, though he had cried slightly earlier, and now he was just left in a mindless daze. Now he was simply numb.

Mara was still feeling awful, even though the relief of finally ending the lie had made her feel infinitely better. Now she just glanced at Mick across the dinner table, looking at the crushed expression on his face, and she had to live with the knowledge that it was all her fault.

"Wow, you could cut the tension with a knife in here..." mumbled Trudy as she collected up some of the plates.

"I know, right?" said Amber, looking dramatically between Mara and Mick with slightly raised eyebrows. "Mick looks like someone died or something. What's _up _with you?"

Mick didn't say anything, he just looked down at his food glumly.

"Mick? _Hello?"_ she continued, looking irritated with his lack of response.

"Leave it, Amber." Mara cut in. Amber glanced over at her, noticing a similarly glum expression on her face as well, and made a startled face.

"Oh. _Oh._ Sorry! Have you two like, broken up or something?" she said, lowering her voice to a whisper, as if she thought that by doing so Mick wouldn't be able to hear. When Mara simply nodded, Amber's eyes widened, and she mimed an apology under her breath.

The meal continued in its awkward silence, and it was no surprise that Mick left as soon as he was able to. Most of the others left as well, assuming Mara wanted some space. All, except for Jerome that was.

Mara was trying not to make eye contact with anyone, as she didn't really fancy explaining why they'd broken up, but she could feel someone watching her, like their eyes were burning a hole in the top of her head. When she saw it was Jerome, in a way it made her more nervous. She had now lost Mick. Mick, who was sort of her protective shield against the feelings that had been slowly stirring over the last couple of months... Now she and Mick were finished, there was nothing to protect her from them. She could no longer avoid them with the 'I have a boyfriend' excuse. She was now face to face with Jerome, and she felt somewhat vulnerable.

"I did it." She said softly, not quite meeting his eyes.

"You did."

Jerome didn't entirely know what he was doing, staying behind to talk with her. She didn't particularly look like she wanted company, yet if she was going to talk to anyone, it would have to be him. He was the only one who knew, the only one who would completely understand, so he felt somehow compelled to see how she was.

"Mick didn't look too good earlier..." he said, and he noticed her bite her lip slightly.

"Look at what I did to him. He hates me..." she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. "Why are you even here, anyway? It's over, there's no longer a big secret. The fun's gone for you now, hasn't it?"

"Mara, you're my friend. I'm just checking that you're ok... Though you're right, it's not nearly as fun as it was before..."

He laughed, hoping that she'd understand it was merely a joke to cheer her up. She managed a small smile, but inside she was slightly thrilled that he still wanted to talk to her, he liked being around her... He too was slightly surprised at how involved he had become with the whole story, but he was glad that he had managed to rebuild a friendly relationship with Mara. He genuinely liked having her as a friend, she was someone he knew he could trust.

"Well, I feel awful, but what can you do... It's all my fault..." she muttered, her mind constantly going over the breakup, constantly replaying the moment when Mick's face simply fell.

A tear slid down her cheek, and before she knew it Jerome had walked around the table and gently placed an arm around her shoulders. It was confusing, because whilst she was crying over Mick, her heartbeat was slightly accelerating over Jerome's touch.

"It's not all your fault. Feelings change, simple as that. Better to tell him sooner rather than later."

"Thanks, Jerome."

_They sat like that for a while, in silence, Jerome's arm still around Mara's shoulders. Neither of them particularly knew what to say, but the silence wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. In fact, it was quite calming to just sit there and be in each other's company._

"_Thank you for everything," Mara said finally, glancing at Jerome briefly. "I probably wouldn't have had the courage to break up with him if it hadn't have been for you."_

"_It's fine, honestly." He said with a smile. "At least you don't have to worry about lying anymore."_

_For a second they both glanced at the other, and Mara couldn't help but blush as her eyes met his. Perfect eyes, Jerome had. Perfect eyes._

"_I'm not sure if Mick believed me when I told him," she said finally, breaking the connection between them._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Well, I think he thought there was someone else."_

"_Is there?"_

"_Ye- er...no." she said, blushing. She couldn't tell Jerome that it was him, she really couldn't._

"_There is, isn't there! Mara Jaffray, you are AWFUl at lying..." he said, poking her slightly._

_Mara laughed, jumping out of her chair, only to be persisted by a stream of impatient jabs. She already knew that when Jerome wanted to find something out, it was more than within his power to get it out of you. He chased her onto the sofa, where she sat down slightly reluctantly._

"_Tell me, Mara!"_

_She glanced at him again as he sat down beside her, and she realised quite how close they were sitting. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek, and their eyes remained locked onto the others, as if they were both in a trance. With a sudden burst of confidence, Mara slid her hand so it rested on top of his, and his eyes widened in realisation. Neither moved for several seconds, which Mara took to be a good sign. Interlocking his fingers with hers, Jerome slowly moved his head towards hers, and-_

"Mara?"

Mara jolted back to reality, the daydream fading quickly from her mind. She looked up to see Jerome, leant back in his chair with an amused expression on his face, arm no longer around her shoulders.

"You were completely spaced out..." he said, laughing slightly. "I think you need some sleep."

He left the room, giving her a quick smile as he did so, and headed back to his room. He hoped that he hadn't been completely useless at the whole comforting business, but at least Mara was no longer crying. She just needed a rest, she had almost fallen asleep for a moment...

"So since when did you want to dump Mick?" Patricia asked as soon as Mara walked through the door. "I mean, I assume it was you who did the dumping, he looked pretty beat up about it."

"It just wasn't working," she said, and because she didn't expand on it further, Patricia knew her well enough to know not to ask anything more. Patricia at least, was relieved that Mara had finally realised Mick was no good for her. She had always thought that Mara could do a lot better.

Mara struggled to sleep that night. Her head was full of confused thoughts, guilt from the break up, but a pang in her heart whenever she thought of Jerome and that ridiculous fantasy that she had concocted. It would have seemed terribly rude and unfair to Mick that Mara had moved on so quickly, but in honesty, there were no feelings to move on from.

And now she was finally able to stop the hideous charade she'd been acting out over the last couple of weeks. Now she could finally stop pretending to still be in love with Mick.

Only problem was that now she had something else to hide. Now she had to make it look like she wasn't falling for Jerome.


	7. Chapter 7

"Mara, please, it's hard enough as it is."

Mara sighed, glancing at Mick sadly. The conversation had not gone smoothly between them, but she was desperate to rebuild their relationship, to get back to at least being friendly without any awkwardness. But after just a simple hello and an enquiry into how he was, it was obvious that he still couldn't face talking to her. It had been five days, and although he seemed to have gotten over the original shock, everyone could tell he was still pretty devastated.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I don't want to lose you entirely."

"I know," he said, not quite meeting her gaze. "But right now it's just making things worse."

She nodded, and couldn't think of anything else to do or say, so she simply walked away. It had been a strange few days. She had told Patricia about why she had broken up with Mick, and word had gotten round that it was simply because she didn't feel the same way anymore. That meant Mick was getting more sympathy than he probably wanted, and people seemed slightly hesitant when talking to either of them. She hadn't mentioned Jerome to anyone though, no one needed to know about that...

She had been spending more time with Jerome since the breakup, and they were beginning to talk as they had around the election period. And although she wished their seeing each other meant more than just friendship, she enjoyed his company none the less. It was only after lights out that she really had time to think, and it was then that she would lie in bed, hopelessly coming up with crazy fantasies in which her and Jerome went on a date...her and Jerome became a couple... It was crazy, it was stupid, and above all it made it even worse to think that it would probably never happen. But she couldn't help it, she had fallen for him _hard_.

Jerome too felt comforted to have Mara back in his life again. When they'd first become close, he'd enjoyed her company, but he'd forgotten quite how nice it was to be able to talk to someone properly. He'd never had that before. But a year ago, he'd been so focused on being in love with her that he hadn't realised quite how much he needed her as a friend. But now with his life back on track and his head clear, he could appreciate it.

"Do you think Amber still likes Mick?" she asked later that day when the two of them were walking home together. "I mean, it'll be good if she does, because then maybe they could get back together, and then Mick won't hate me, right?"

Jerome laughed, remembering the days when Amber still liking Mick would have been the worst possible scenario in Mara's head. But things change, people change...

"I don't really know, Amber Millington's head isn't something that often concerns me." He joked. "Though you shouldn't worry about it, Mick will come round eventually."

"Come on, he won't even talk to me..."

"He'll get over it. It may take a while, but you need to stop feeling guilty about it."

"I don't feel as guilty as I did a few days ago..."

"Liar," he said with a smirk, giving her a quick nudge. She rolled her eyes in resignation, she _was _lying, but now she was slightly elated just from the brief moment of contact.

Jerome did feel like he was doing some good. He didn't understand quite _how_ much of a difference he made to Mara's mood when he was with her, but he liked that she was happier, and definitely a vast improvement on how she was before...

"You need to forget about it though. I know you don't have any feelings left for him, which will obviously make it easier, but you need to move on, you need to forget it."

"This is all very philosophical, Jerome..." she said, laughing slightly.

"You know me, Mara," he said, smiling at her. "But trust me, when you move past this whole experience, you'll feel a whole lot better.

_I already have, _she thought as they continued to walk. _I already have moved on, and I don't think I feel better at all. _She was still confused, still slightly down about everything...but at least she still had hope. There was still the hope that Jerome might like her back, after all, he _was _spending a lot of time with her now. And also, she knew that whatever happened with Jerome, it wouldn't cause her guilt at least. She didn't think she could cope with any more guilt...

When they reached the house, she turned to head up the stairs to her room, but something tugged at her blazer.

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" Jerome asked casually, not releasing his grip from her jacket. "I've been somewhat ditched by Alfie."

"Yeah, sure," she said, trying to make the exchange sound casual. She knew it didn't really mean anything, but to her it meant a lot. "What's Alfie doing?"

"He lost a bet to Mick, and now Mick's making him help him train or something. Poor guy."

Mara flinched slightly, realising that her job of organising Mick's training schedule was now void. She didn't expect Mick to summon her back to the task immediately, of course not...but she liked to think that one day they'd be friendly enough to start again.

"Oh, right. Well I'll meet you after dinner then?"

"Cool," he said, walking away.

In reality, although Jerome would never show it, he hated the evenings when Alfie wasn't around. Even if the two of them were just sat in their room together, both engrossed with different activities, he just liked the feeling of company. And yes, he liked the time to himself as well, in fact he'd go crazy if he didn't have the time to think...but when it was just him in an empty room, spending the evening alone knowing that his housemates were busy, busy _without _him...then he felt lonely. Plus, he thought after he'd left Mara to her own devices, plus it would keep Mara from spending the evening worrying about Mick. He'd seen the look on her face when he'd mentioned his name.

_That girl, _he thought, as he'd thought many times before, _that girl has got too much of a conscience. _

Dinner passed uneventfully. Mick spent the time acting rather too smugly for everyone's liking about his victory over Alfie, but it was at least a nice change from the constant moping, which had been getting on most people's nerves. When Alfie begrudgingly left with him after the meal, and the others left to get on with their lives, it was just Mara and Jerome, and Mara felt nervous.

Was this a date? She didn't think it was, even though it bared all the same characteristics. As Jerome had said, this was only because Alfie was out. This was just because he had no one left to hang out with.

They put a movie on, though neither of them were paying much attention to the two dimensional characters and bad special effects. Talking about everything that popped into their heads, the film soon became a part of the background.

"Jerome, I've been meaning to ask..." said Mara nervously after an hour or so had passed. "Last year, you told me about your past...you told me about your parents..."

Jerome visibly stiffened slightly, though he didn't move or attempt to run away.

"How are things...how are things now?" she continued, phrasing her words carefully. Seeing the slightly saddened look on his face, she started to panic. It had been a long time since they'd talked about all of this, and she remembered how sensitive he'd gotten back then...

"Sorry." She said. "You don't have to tell me, I shouldn't have asked."

"No..." he said slowly. "No, it's ok."

He paused, taking a deep breath. It always felt wrong, dirty almost, to talk about such things, the things that were like a taboo subject. But it was Mara, she knew, and he'd felt a little better last time, just from being able to talk about it.

"They haven't changed." He said glumly. "They hate me, that's obvious. I've had to juggle between staying here and with my god parents. I can't even remember the last time I even _talked _to my parents. I'm dead to them..."

The silence that followed wasn't awkward, it was just sad. A moment for both of them to reflect on the words that had just left Jerome's mouth. Mara carefully placed a hand on his arm, a weak smile on her lips.

"You don't have to keep it all in. You can talk to people...you can talk to me Jerome, you know that. It'll all work out, I promise."

He smiled slightly, knowing that she was the _only _person he could talk to about this. But it was good for him, it helped him to see that he was the victim, not the cause of all the problems.

"Thank you," he said softly, giving her a hug. "But the same goes for you, as well. You saw what happened last time you had a problem and kept it to yourself..."

"Very true..." she said, and they laughed slightly.

"You know," he said, remembering what it was that he needed to ask. "Fabian was saying something earlier..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he was talking to Mick apparently, and Mick seems to be convinced that there was an ulterior motive in you breaking up with him..."

"What do you mean?"

"He thinks you only stopped liking him because you started liking someone else..."

Jerome was only slightly lying. The fact that Fabian hadn't actually _told _him this was only a minor detail, and no one needed to know that he'd been listening in at the door after hearing the two talking. But as usual, the slightest hint into any sort of scandal, and Jerome was instantly hooked. He felt almost like Amber, apart from instead of spreading gossip, he just wanted to uncover it.

Mara watched his face, trying to keep hers looking neutral. It failed though, because he noticed the gulp, he noticed the way she started fiddling with the hem of her shirt...

"So it's true?" he asked with a slight smirk. "Who's the lucky guy then?"

"Well, I-" she started, struggling to find a way out of this. "I can't say..."

"Come on, you can tell me!"

"N-no! It's personal!"

"You just told me that I can talk to _you _about personal issues, and therefore I fully expect the same treatment in return. Spill."

Mara was panicking. Seriously panicking, but she knew that she couldn't hide it forever. Sooner or later people would start to notice if she glanced a look at Jerome during breakfast, or they'd notice the way she looked at him when they were together. All the signs were there, someone just had to find them.

"Please don't make a big deal over it, it's not massive or anything."

It would be better if she told him, rather than him finding out some other way. And he was right, it wasn't good for her to keep things in, it was always better for her to tell someone about it, to let it out.

She looked up at him properly, biting her lip slightly nervously. He looked at her inquisitively, desperately curious as ever. Slowly, she nodded her head slightly in his direction, not knowing how to say it in words. He didn't realise at first, but then, looking at her staring at him so intently, it clicked right into place.

"Me?" he whispered so quietly that he may as well have mimed it.

Nervously, Mara nodded her head.


	8. Chapter 8

The silence that followed was unbearable, and Mara could do nothing else but watch the startled expression on Jerome's face. She couldn't determine what he was feeling, it was like staring into a blank canvas. She wished she hadn't said a thing, she wished she had laughed off the claims and attempted to change the subject...but at least now it was out there, at least now she would know either way.

But although she was still holding onto the faintest hope, deep down she knew that whatever Jerome would say, it wasn't going to be good news. She knew that if he felt the same way, it would be obvious, there would a smile, a gleam in his eye...not the deathly blank look that she was now facing. That was proof enough that Jerome Clarke definitely did not share the same feeling as she did, and that was crushing.

"Mara, I-" he said quietly, not knowing what to say, or how to say it. It had stunned him, that was for sure. The possibility that _he _was the one she liked wasn't even something he had dared to consider. It was impossible, girls like her didn't like guys like him. And yet she did, and ironically, the confession was a year too late. It was like their feelings were out of sync with each other, and he felt awful about it. He knew that he didn't have much of a guilty conscious, but he still felt bad about this.

"It's ok," she said. "You don't have to say anything. I know you don't think about me like that...I just wanted you to know."

She couldn't help it, she'd been trying to hold it in, but a single tear escaped from the corner of her mouth, and slid down her cheek. She broke away from his gaze, heart aching, and tried to focus on her lap instead. Anything so he wouldn't have to sit there and watch her cry.

"Mara, I'm so sorry..." he said. "You're a year too late..."

The second part had been the softest of whispers, like a thought that he hadn't meant to convey, but Mara heard it, and looked up in confusion.

"Huh?" she said, and Jerome sighed.

"You're a year too late..."

"What do you mean?"

"A year ago, I liked you. I _really _liked you, but you were too head over heels in love with that stupid meathead to even give me your full attention, let alone notice how I felt. And it was hard, it was really hard. Every day I had to watch you and Mick, I had to watch you and Mick being happy, when I was sad. But that was a year ago, and however much it hurt, I had to move on, I had to make myself get over you... I'm so sorry Mara, but right now you're just a friend to me."

He looked at her sadly, feeling like the most horrible person in the world. He wondered if this was how Mara had felt when she broke up with Mick. And this would have been how she would have felt if she'd known how he'd felt a year ago.

Mara listened to Jerome's words, and each one seemed to hit her like a bullet. If only she hadn't gone out with Mick. She'd have saved herself the guilt and the pain, and maybe she'd have fallen for Jerome sooner, maybe she'd have realised at a point when she still had a chance.

She didn't know what to do, or what to say, but all that needed to be said had been said. She felt somewhat humiliated, though it was at least relieving to see Jerome being sympathetic. She was half expecting him to laugh at her. But not having anything else to say, she just needed some space, so Mara quickly got up and left the room without saying another word. As soon as she reached the sanctity of her bedroom, then the tears came out properly, streaming down her face as she contemplated how much of an idiot she was.

It seemed hideously like Karma, how she'd broken Mick's heart only to get hers broken a few days later. It wasn't Jerome's fault, he had been nothing but gentlemanly towards her. But now she couldn't even contemplate facing him, couldn't even imagine if they could one day have a normal conversation.

Jerome was just sat there, half wanting to run after her, but half wanting to give her some space. After all, he was probably the last person she wanted to see right now. He was still stunned, and the shock of the confession hadn't quite sunk in.

_If only she'd said that a year ago, _he thought, but then he didn't know if that was what he wanted. It was odd, because after getting over the feelings he had for her, he couldn't imagine the two of them in a relationship now...though he presumed that had Mick not gotten in the way, and had she picked him, they would still probably be happy together.

Well, at least she could sympathise with him now. At least now she knew why he had acted as he had during the election, at least now she could understand why he had become distant, why he had faded quickly from her life. However, back then, when Mara had Mick, she didn't seem to mind that Jerome wasn't in her life anymore.

That was why it was different now. Jerome had found a good friend in Mara, someone he could trust with his secrets and then share a laugh with only moments later. Back then, Mara may have been all too happy to let him fall out of her life, but now, Jerome didn't want that to happen. It may be awkward, but it was always going to be awkward. The only way to get over that would be to go about life as normal, and if Mara wasn't prepared to do that, Jerome was.

He walked back to his room slightly wistfully, still not a hundred percent come to terms with what had happened. _Mara Jaffray likes me, _he thought. _Who'd have seen that coming..._

"Mara?"

Patricia walked into their bedroom, and noticed Mara immediately, lying flat on the bed with her head buried into the pillow. She could hear soft, muffled, sobs, and Mara hadn't even acknowledged her existence yet. Cautiously, she sat on the bed, tucking herself in by Mara's knees.

"Mara, are you alright?"

Mara didn't want to turn around. Here, with her face in the pillow, she could pretend like nothing else was going on in the world, like it was only her. It was like she was slightly afraid to face the world and go back to all the horrible things that had been going on in her life.

Unfortunately for her, Patricia had other ideas. Grabbing her firmly, Patricia flipped Mara around, and then made her sit up.

"Look at me. _Look at me_." She ordered, and Mara timidly looked up in response. "Are you ok?"

"Does it look like I'm ok?" she replied, not wanting to sound rude, but she knew that the tears streaming down her face were an obvious sign to how she was feeling.

"No, ok, obviously you're not ok... Did you drop a mark on the French test or something?"

Patricia smiled, hoping to raise the mood slightly, and was slightly happier when Mara bashed her with her pillow.

"No, it's just...why does nothing ever work out?"

"Is it Mick again?"

Mara just shook her head, feeling slightly that she'd said too much.

"Then what's this all about? Tell me, Mara..."

"He doesn't like me," was about all she managed, before another burst of tears erupted out of her eyes.

"_Who _doesn't like you?"

Mara sighed.

"Jerome..."

"Whoah, whoah. Since when have you liked _Jerome? _How on earth did that happen? It's just...so _weird!_"

Mara gave her a look, a 'that's not important' look, and Patricia stopped her mindless ranting.

"Ok," Patricia continued. "So you told him you liked him and he said he didn't like you back?"

Mara nodded gravely, and Patricia felt genuinely sympathetic. She placed an arm around Mara's shoulders, wondering why it was always Mara who was unlucky in love. She always seemed to fall for the wrong people.

A knock at the door made the two of them jump, and Alfie poked his head nervously around the door, fresh from his training session with Mick.

"Er, Mara?" he said nervously. "Jerome wants to talk to you..."

Mara was confused, what more did he possibly have to say to her?

"Uh uh, no way..." said Patricia, walking over to close the door. "Tell him he's done enough!"

She slammed the door in his face, enjoying the feeling of dominance she was experiencing. The two girls could hear Alfie murmuring outside, and Mara felt a little sick to the stomach just in knowing Jerome was out there. For a while there was only silence, but then Alfie knocked again.

"I told you to _go away!"_ Patricia said, slightly more angrily this time.

"Wait, wait!" he said, poking his head through the door, whilst Patricia glared at him murderously. "Look, just take this!"

He put a small piece of paper on one of the shelves near the door, and then scarpered before Patricia could get to him. They heard two steps of footsteps walk away.

"It's from Jerome..." said Patricia, picking up the small slip of paper. "You want to read it?"

"Yes, I think..." she said, taking it from Patricia. It couldn't be anything worse, right?

_Mara,_

_I feel awful, and I want you to know that you shouldn't worry about the others. I didn't tell Alfie, and I have no intention of telling him, or anyone else. I'm not going to laugh at you or tease you about this, because I've been there, I know what it's like.  
>But I don't want you to feel ashamed, or that you have to avoid me for the rest of your life. I still want to be your friend, and I won't let you try and hide from me forever.<em>

_Jerome :)_

She re read it twice, surprised at her nicely he was reacting to it. In a way, it made it slightly harder, because there was no way she could hate him for it, no way she could feel like she was completely the victim.

"So are you going to? Keep being friends with him?" Patricia asked, and Mara rolled her eyes slightly. Trust Patricia to have looked at it before handing it over.

"Do you think I should?" she asked, still crying slightly, and still in a slight sense of shock from how the evening had turned out.

"Well, would it be worse if you ignored him, or better?"

"Worse, I think."

Patricia nodded in a 'there you go' sort of way, and Mara just sat there contemplating it all. It would all be different now.

In one evening, however slight, everything had changed once again.

**Pleaseee, don't hate me!  
>You guys should know by now that I like spinning my stories out, and this is no exception!<br>Thanks for reviewing :)**

**xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

Breakfast the next morning was somewhat unbearable. To Mara's relief, Jerome was not there when she entered the dining room, though Mick was. She knew that the only other person who knew about her and Jerome was Patricia, assuming she could trust what Jerome had said in his note, and she was certain that she could. That meant that Mick was still clueless to the situation, which was how Mara wanted it to stay. She didn't want to make him feel even worse by him knowing that she liked someone else. In a way, although her and Mick were firmly over, it still felt like she'd cheated on him.

"You won't say a word to anyone, will you? Promise me." She had said to Patricia before bed last night, her words sounding desperate and worried.

"No, of course not. You have my word."

Mara now felt comforted knowing that at least Mick should never find out. _Should _never find out. There was always the possibility that he may get suspicious, may notice an unusual tension between the two of them. Then he might start asking questions, someone might let something slip...

She shook her head, knowing that this was a very minute possibility. It had taken him a long time to notice she was acting weirdly when they were together, so surely he shouldn't notice this?

She forgot all about worrying about Mick as soon as Jerome walked in the room. She froze slightly as their eyes met for a second, and she began to internally panic. Memories of the previous day flooded through her mind, and she was reminded once again of how painful their conversation had been. She could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she blinked them away. _Stay strong, Mara._

Jerome saw the look on her face when she noticed him, and felt awful. She had been so calm after breaking up with Mick, and now all that progress had probably been ruined, and she probably felt that now there was one more person in the house that she had to avoid.

Determined not to let her lose him entirely, he sat on the chair next to her.

"Morning," he said, smiling at her. She froze slightly, then shot him a shy smile in return, but quickly looked away. It was awkward, that was obvious, but it was always going to be awkward after an exchange like that. The least Jerome could do was to try and move past it, to try and make it seem like it never happened.

He noticed Patricia watching him strangely, like she was trying to decode his every move. He had assumed that Mara would tell her everything, which wasn't surprising. Patricia had a knack of getting things out of people.

Mara sat there throughout breakfast, slightly confused and extremely uncomfortable. Jerome was just sat there beside her, as if oblivious to their conversation yesterday evening. It was strange, but she presumed that it was a good thing, that he was just trying not to make it awkward...

But even so, she was all too aware of how closely he was sitting to her, and just him being there was making her heart beat ever so slightly faster. This would be the problem, she was going to keep on liking him, and he would always know. Even if they acted like everything was the same, like everything was perfect between them, deep down there would always be that one lingering fact. She liked him, and just by telling him so, everything would always be slightly different between them.

She managed to escape pretty quickly after breakfast, and didn't waste any time in grabbing her bag and getting ready for school. Walking hastily down the stairs, she was determined to just get to school and start another day.

"Mara?"

She turned just as she reached the door, wondering how she had failed to notice Jerome, who was leant casually against one of the walls.

"You're off early aren't you?"

She gulped slightly, though thought back to his note from last night. '_I still want to be your friend, and I won't let you try and hide from me forever'._ She looked at him for a second, trying to see if there were any signs of him feeling uncomfortable, or not wanting to be there. Hard as she tried, she couldn't find anything. Jerome Clarke was stood there as normal, looking at her as he normally did, and talking to her like nothing was wrong.

Maybe this was a good thing, maybe this is what _she _should be doing. Erasing last night from her memory, and moving on.

"Well, it's school...and...er...school's really important right now, and we have that test second period..."

He laughed slightly.

"Relax Mara, I'm not trying to interrogate you. Wait here a second and I'll come with you."

She waited, half wanting to stay with him, half wanting to run out of the door as fast as she possibly could. Jerome calmly went to collect his bag, determined now more than ever to get back to a point with Mara where they could talk as they had just a couple of days ago. She seemed more surprised than anything else that he was willing to talk to her. And yes, it _was _going to be different, and Jerome was still going to feel guilty every time he saw her, and he would probably have to be more careful over what he said, how he acted, just so not to give her the wrong impression. But he wasn't going to hide from her.

She looked nervous as he approached her again, but he smiled reassuringly.

"So what test is it second period?" he asked as they wandered across campus.

"Are you serious? It's Mr. Winkler's huge history test! He's been reminding us about it for weeks!"

"Oh yeah..." he said, having not paid much attention in history all year. "Guess I'll just have to try and blag it..."

"You're unbelievable..." she said, laughing slightly.

"Well, you know me..."

She laughed, and then realised that for a moment she _had _managed to forget everything. It had been like a normal conversation, but then of course as soon as she remembered, the awkwardness crashed back with full force.

"Um...do you need some help? To study for it I mean? We have about half an hour until school starts?"

_If Jerome can act like nothing happened, then so can I_, she thought, but she was still worrying about everything she said. What if he interpreted her asking to help as like her asking him on a date?

"Work? _Before _school? Come on Mara, that's no fun...but tell you what, I think we have enough time for me to annihilate you at a game of chess?"

"Don't get _too _cocky now Jerome... I know we've only played the one time, but I think _I _was one who was annihilating you..."

"Come on, I was letting you win..."

"Well then, I accept your challenge Mr. Clarke...but don't say I didn't warn you."

The pair both laughed as they entered the school. Jerome felt extremely relieved, though Mara still felt like she was lying. True, they were getting back into the flow of normal conversation, but it was more like something was being covered up.

By the time the bell rang for first period, no one would have noticed a difference between how they acted today, and how they acted yesterday. Mara packed away the chess pieces after the game (which to her surprise, Jerome won), and they walked as they normally did to biology. Jerome smiled as he swung into his seat beside Alfie, and Mara sat in the row in front. To the outside world, everything was normal, and to them, it was _almost _normal. They both knew that they were partly pretending, they both knew that they were avoiding something, but it worked that way, and Jerome had no intention of bringing up last night's conversation, it would only make Mara feel bad.

Though at least by this point, both of them knew, or thought anyway, that going back to being friends was doable. They would both find out soon enough that it wasn't as easy as they'd anticipated, but for now at least, all was well.


	10. Chapter 10

A week had passed, and things were better.

It was weird, because now that both Mara and Jerome were trying so desperately to get their friendship back to normal they were actually together more often than they had been before. And that also meant that now Mara was spending more time with Alfie as well, and the three of them would often sit together to have lunch, or hang out after school. Both Mara and Jerome were slightly relieved to have Alfie's company at times. Although things were good between the two of them, (that fateful evening had never been mentioned again), there were still occasional silences where Mara's mind would think back to all that she had said, and she would hurt again. She still liked him just as much, if not more after all the time spent together, and she was still hurt and embarrassed... But having Alfie around meant his chatter would fill the silences, and his presence would make them less aware of how much had changed.

Alfie himself hadn't noticed anything unusual about how the pair acted around each other, though to him, the prospect of them even being friends was slightly strange. The whole thing had happened very suddenly, one moment they never spoke, the next it was like they were telling each other their darkest secrets.

But he let it go, because Mara was alright to hang out with. A bit too geeky at times, granted, but she had somewhat come out of her shell over the last year, and she chatted to him much more animatedly than she had done before.

It was during one lunch time that the three were sat together, and to Mara's disapproval, the boys were attempting to eavesdrop on one of Nina and Fabien's conversations.

"Guys, come on, give them some privacy!" she whispered, shaking her head.

"No way! You can't pass up on an opportunity like this!" said Alfie, who was leant back so far off his chair in order to hear better that he looked simply ridiculous.

"Opportunity? Leave them alone! Besides, do you really want to hear what they're talking about? I bet it's all mushy lovey stuff anyway!"

Mara cringed slightly as she spoke, as she always did when words like love were used around her and Jerome.

"Yeah, it's pretty sickening..." Alfie continued, craning his neck even further.

"Then why are you _still _listening?"

"Because," whispered Jerome, looking devious. "It's very good ammunition for teasing them about it later..."

He and Alfie high-fived each other, and Mara rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but laugh slightly as well.

"Hi, Mara..."

The whispering stopped, and all three of them glanced up to see Mick, standing there looking sheepish, his hands in his pockets.

"Hi..." Mara replied quietly, slightly in shock. This was the first time he'd come up to her since the breakup. Mara genuinely missed him, she missed just chatting with him like best friends, but since all the Jerome drama she'd hardly given it much thought.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure..."

Mara stood up, smiling slightly at Jerome and Alfie, and followed him into the corner.

"Look Mara, this is still really hard for me...but do you want to get together sometime? Just to talk? It might make it worse, but it might make it easier...I just want to go back to normal."

"Back to when we were friends?" Mara asked, smiling softly at him.

"Yeah...so do you want to meet up for coffee maybe? Saturday?"

"Ok, that sounds good."

He smiled, then moved forwards as if to give her a hug and then obviously reconsidered. Stepping back awkwardly, he nodded briefly, and then left the room. Mara stood there, slightly confused. It was great that he wanted to talk again, it was just different now. Especially now that she had well and truly moved on. Though he couldn't know that...

Jerome watched Mara and Mick out of the corner of his eye, and didn't really know how to feel about it. Sure, it was really good if they were talking again, she would probably feel less guilty about breaking up with him. But would that come at a price? Would spending more time with Mick again mean she'd spend less time with him? Maybe no time in the long run? And then maybe once again they would be left in a state where one of them cared about the other, but they never spoke. It was pretty unlikely, but it was still a thought, and the idea of losing a good friend made Jerome feel slightly uneasy.

Mara sat back down in her chair, then raised her eyebrows.

"Finished spying yet?" She said, and Jerome couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, but do you want to hear about our plan for later?" Alfie said excitedly, twiddling his fingers like an evil genius.

"I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time..."

Jerome was instantly struck by a feeling of déjà vu, though he couldn't quite recall why. Feeling confused and rather strange, he listened absent mindlessly to Alfie's explanation. It wasn't exactly a 'plan' so to speak, just that they'd wait until dinner and wind Nina and Fabian up about all the vomit inducing comments that they'd said to each other.

"You know, you could be much more tactical than that. Not that I'm approving of this plan or anything, but you don't have to be as blunt about it. You could at least try and sneak bits of what they've said into a conversation between yourselves, and see when they catch on?"

"You know what Mara?" Jerome said. "That's much better. You're a genius!"

She felt flattered, and gave him a quick smile as he smiled back. Once again, Jerome felt like it had happened before, and was thoroughly confused at the mixed feelings that rushed through him. Whenever it _had _happened before, it must have been a big deal for him...but how could such a simple look provoke such a flurry of emotions?

_You're just tired,_ he thought. _You've had a long day, and you need to relax. These things probably haven't even happened before, you just think that they might have._

He shook it off, and tried to forget about the feeling of déjà vu, and focused entirely on the conversation instead.

"So what did Mick want?" Jerome asked, curious as ever.

"Oh," said Mara. "He just wanted to talk...to get back to being friends. It's quite nice of him really."

"Well yeah, it's really nice. After you crushed his heart into a million pieces and all of that..." Alfie cut in dramatically, making big gestures and miming being killed.

"It wasn't like that, and besides, she couldn't just stay with him for the hell of it." Jerome said, receiving an approving nod from Mara.

"Thanks Jerome. And I know it won't be the same, but it'll be nice just to talk again," she said, kind of wanting to get off the conversation. She knew that Jerome didn't like her back, but she still wasn't going to talk about other guys around him. She wanted at least to make sure he knew that they weren't going to get back together.

Luckily for her, later that evening, Mara and Mick were the last things on Jerome's mind. In fact, he was happy that they were talking again. It was getting boring seeing Mick looking depressed every day. Though he was still concerned about the sudden feelings he'd experienced at lunchtime. It had definitely reminded him of something, though it wasn't until the evening that he was able to pinpoint exactly what it was.

And it was that one phrase that had triggered it. _'I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'_

He lay in bed, racking his brain trying to recreate the time or place, trying to think where he'd heard those words before.

'_I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'_

_..._

'_I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'_

_..._

'_I'm intrigued but completely frightened at the same time.'_

'_So that's a yes then, isn't it?'_

And then it came back. Election time. The time he'd bottled up his fear and managed to ask Mara as casually as he could if he could be her campaign manager. He hadn't shown it at the time, but he'd been thrilled when she'd agreed to it.

It all came back, and he assumed it was just because back then, when Mara had so much as smiled at him he got a thrill, a shock though his entire body. It meant so much back then whenever she'd shown the slightest bit of interest. And now because she was smiling the same smiles, using the same looks, and saying the same phrases...he would probably always relate them to when they meant _everything _to him.

But it was weird, because now although Mara still acted in a similar way, she was still the _same_, yet the way Jerome felt about her was different. He hadn't thought it would be like this. He assumed that if she had stayed the same, so would his feelings.

Jerome couldn't get his head round it, he couldn't understand why how he felt a year ago was affecting him now. None the less, he went to sleep not feeling certain of anything anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

Mara didn't know how Jerome had done it. Sure, it had only been a few weeks, and it had taken Jerome longer than that, but she didn't think it possible to get over him at all. Every time he walked into the room, she felt a strange pull towards him, and it took a lot of concentration to avoid staring. And yes, it wasn't nice knowing that he only saw her as a friend, but he'd say a couple of words to her and she'd be captivated. Their relationship was strictly friendly, but she couldn't help it. As much as she wished it wasn't happening, she was falling for Jerome.

Jerome was just confused. Since that lunchtime with Alfie and Mara, he'd been experiencing the same sense of déjà vu more and more frequently. After it had happened the first time, the memories of the time when Mara was all he could think about flooded right back. Now he would notice really small things, like her twiddling her hair or the way she said certain words...and he would remember when he'd _really _noticed it.

And now, when she repeated actions that he remembered from a year ago, he repeatedly felt the same feeling. It was a slight rush, but faint, like it was the ghost of the feelings he'd once felt.

Though despite all the confusion he was feeling, he felt that his relationship with Mara had settled down again. He had tried his hardest to act normally, and although it felt weird to think that she liked him, there were no more awkward silences. The evening had been more or less forgotten.

"Mara, hey!" he said, sitting beside her at breakfast.

"Hey, Jerome." She said smiling, another smile that sent him flashing back.

"You off to school early again, brainiac?"

"You know me. Chess?"

This was common protocol now. If they both were up and ready early, they usually had enough time for a quick game. Normally Jerome would still win, but Mara was always close competition, and for both of them it was something they couldn't enjoy with other people. It was _their _thing, and that's what made it better.

"Of course," said Jerome. "Nothing like a good game of chess between friends."

_Between friends. FRIENDS. _Mara felt the word hit her, and it stung. It was like he was deliberately rubbing it in, even though she knew he was just making everything seem normal.

Though it was getting to Mara. She still felt like they were both living a lie, both pretending that everything was fine when deep down everything was still ever so slightly different. It bothered her slightly at how easily Jerome was finding it to pretend it never happened.

But she tried, as usual, to act normally as well, and they headed to school, set up the chess board, and started the game. It was routine, it was normality, it was safe territory.

It was only half way through the game (Mara was winning), that things became a little different. And it was all because of a wave. It was all because of a wave from one Mick Campbell, who swung his head round the door, greeted Mara, and disappeared.

Their coffee trip a while ago had gone well, after the awkward phase had passed. It was comforting to know that she had Mick back in her life again, even if the ghost of the breakup still lingered. They'd seen each other a couple of times since, and although she hadn't dared mention her feelings for Jerome, other than that they were talking about everything again.

As she smiled and waved at him in return that morning, Jerome watched curiously, and felt a slight stab in the heart. But he wasn't surprised this time, that was something that had happened a lot, every time Mara had given Mick attention it had hurt back then, this was just another memory, another thing that had happened before and resurfacing now. He wondered how long he'd experience these feelings, how long it would be until looking at Mara didn't affect him. After all, they were only just friends.

_These sensations, they're just old memories, old feelings. They're not new, they're not relevant, they're just THERE. _

He thought it to himself and felt comforted.

"I'm so glad Mick's talking to me again, it makes everything so much easier," Mara said, smiling, and Jerome felt a similar stab.

"Yeah..." he said, still curious as to why it was affecting him so much. "Yeah, it's good."

He spent the rest of the game not being able to concentrate properly, still pondering over why Mick bothered him _after _they'd broken up, and after he'd moved on. He was so out of it that he missed several opportunities, and Mara beat him easily.

"Checkmate!" she said smugly, and Jerome suddenly shuddered like he was snapping out of a trance. "You ok, Jerome?"

"Yeah...fine..."

He stood up, slinging his blazer casually over his shoulder.

"I'll just have to live down the embarrassment of losing to _you _now..." he said cheekily, and she gave him a quick nudge.

"Oi! Not like I haven't beaten you before! You should get used to it, think your lucky streak has started to run out."

He laughed, nudging her back.

"Wouldn't count on it Jaffray..."

Mara smiled, she always liked joking around with Jerome...though it got to her. It always seemed too flirty, like she'd have thought he liked her if she didn't know otherwise. She just felt like he was toying with her, like he was trying _too _hard to forget about what she had told him. It was as if he didn't realise what effects his words or actions had on her, like he wasn't being considerate. And it was getting to her, it was getting to her more and more.

Though it wasn't until two days later that Mara Jaffray finally cracked.

She had been walking back from school with Mick, casually chatting about their days. They had walked through the door, where Mara had literally crashed smack into Jerome. She blushed, and felt the normal thrill rush through her that occurred every time she and Jerome touched, accidental or not. Jerome himself found it amusing, until he looked up and noticed that Mick was with her. That triggered a response he didn't expect, and it felt like jealousy. Also, he didn't like the idea of Mick replacing him as 'male best friend'. He loved hanging out with Mara, and didn't fancy the thought of Mick taking over.

"Mara, you want to hang out for a bit? Like now?" he said, cringing at how desperate it sounded. He didn't know why, but a part of him just needed to get Mara away from Mick as soon as he possibly could.

"Yeah, course," she said, smiling. "See you later Mick."

Mick and Mara smiled at each other, though Mick was feeling jealous as well. He still liked Mara, it had only been a few weeks, and now she was all palled up with _Jerome _of all people.

Mara and Jerome spent an hour or so together, just sat on the sofa talking about nothing in particular. It felt strange though, sat back on the same sofa where everything had kicked off, and Mara wondered whether Jerome had noticed, she wondered whether Jerome was feeling a slight edge on the conversation.

"Did you still want help with this week's chemistry questions?" she asked him, smiling. She occasionally helped him with particularly challenging homework, but it wasn't anything like helping Mick. Jerome was intelligent, so he only ever needed help on the worst of the questions, which meant the session was much more fun and relaxed for both of them, and she never felt like she was doing everything for him.

"If you don't mind, that would be great."

"No problem at all, shouldn't take more than twenty minutes or so. Happy to help."

"Thanks Mara, you're a star! Seriously, what would I do without you as my friend?"

"Stop it."

She hadn't meant to say it, but just the one mention of the word 'friend', and she snapped.

"What?"

Jerome was confused, he didn't know why she was upset. All he knew was he didn't like to see her acting like that, acting all distressed.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Mara, what do you mean?"

He put his hand on her arm, and she flinched away from it.

"_That. _I'm fed up of it. You're acting like everything's fine, like nothing's changed!"

"What, you mean about..."

"Yes." She interrupted. "You know what I mean. And you're pretending it never happened, like we're all fine. But we're not fine, are we? It's all different, and I'm sick of pretending otherwise!"

"But I thought you _wanted _to go back to normal?"

"Yes, I did. But I wanted for it to not be awkward, I wanted to go back to being your friend. But now you just keep messing with my head, and I'm _sick _of it!"

She stood up, tears brewing in her eyes. Just looking at Jerome made her hurt inside, she just couldn't do it, she couldn't live in the pretence that he was just her friend. Because to her, she loved him. She loved him and there was nothing she could do about it, and pretending only made it worse.

"Mara, please...look, we can sort this out..."

"No, we can't. I can't lie to myself anymore, it just hurts too much..."

She walked out of the room, worrying that he'd follow her, but was relieved when he didn't. Instead, Jerome just watched her leave, more confused than ever. This had never happened before, this wasn't a déjà vu moment.

But as he watched her walk away, he felt crushed. Completely crushed, as if someone was stabbing him in the chest.

And just like that, everything changed again.

**Sorry it's been ages, been struggling with this chapter a bit.  
>And busy few weeks ahead, but I will try my absolute best to keep updating regularly :)<strong>

**Btw, some of you may remember that I mentioned that the guy who plays the vote counting guy was at my school...well I was bored the other day and did some cheeky facebook stalking...and he's friends with quite a few cast members...though their profiles are like uber private so you can't search them or add them as friends or anything :L**

**But yeah, I thought that was cool :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Mara didn't talk to Jerome for two days, and then after that she only did so sparingly.

Jerome hadn't tried to follow her when she'd run away. He'd wanted to, but he had no idea what he would say.

He liked her.

Just like before when it had happened faster than he could comprehend, he felt feelings that he couldn't describe, and he couldn't understand why they had arose so suddenly, when they may as well have been there forever.

He was pretty sure that this wasn't just him _still _liking her from a year ago. He had definitely got over her at some point. But it made sense, he'd liked her once before, and she was still the same Mara that she'd always been. Maybe just spending time with her had made the same thing happen, just a year later.

He liked her.

He liked her _so _much. But just by the look on her face as she fled the room, he knew that it wasn't going to be as easy as going up to her and telling her the truth. She wouldn't even believe him. She'd probably shout at him even more, and accuse him of leading her on or messing with her feelings. But he liked her, and she still liked him as far as he knew...

Though Mara had no way of knowing about the array of feelings that were sparking in Jerome's head. All she wanted to do was to hide away and never see him again. It just hurt, it just hurt _too _much. How can you see someone you love every day, knowing that they don't feel the same way, and watch them mess with your head over and over? It was never going to work, and felt stupid for trying in the first place. So now she'd maybe lost him entirely.

She assumed that he'd be too afraid to talk to her now, that he would maybe be relieved at not having to pretend everything was fine anymore. It would be easier this time, she wouldn't try to talk to him, and he wouldn't object. She could live her life, painful as it would be, but she would know where she stood.

Avoiding Jerome, as always, was easier said than done. Every morning at breakfast he'd be sat there, looking like he desperately wanted to say something, but had no idea what to say or how to say it. She sat at the opposite end of the table, avoided all eye contact, and when he stood up to leave the table she made sure to leave first. In theory it was all planned out, she just had to be on her guard, and then eventually he would get the message, eventually he would realise that she wouldn't – _couldn't _– talk to him.

But Jerome was determined to at least maintain some form of relationship, so he was persistent, and that irritated her. Everywhere she seemed to turn he'd be waiting, by her locker, outside the girls toilets, at the door to Anubis house. He was _everywhere_, and what made it worse was that she _liked _that he was everywhere, she still wanted to be with him, she still loved him...she just _couldn't _see him. It was for the best.

"Mara, I..." was all he was ever able to say to her before she ran away from him again. Most of the times he would see her eyes widen slightly as she noticed him, he would see a flicker of sadness in her eyes, and then he would see her darting past, not making eye contact, and never stopping.

But they both knew it would have to end at some point. They lived in the same house, they attended the same classes, they were in each other's lives day in, day out. It was easy enough to avoid someone if both people wanted it, but in this situation Jerome would win. Mara would have to talk to him one day.

As much as Jerome hoped that the day where she'd respond to him came sooner, he also slightly dreaded it, simply because then he'd have to say something, then he'd have to come up with something coherent. Then he'd have to attempt to explain how he felt. And there didn't seem to be a good way to, either. How would he go about it? 'Hi Mara, I used to like you, and then I didn't, and then I realised I did again right after I told you I didn't...' Nothing sounded right, nothing sounded _believable_.

Though, you could argue that the whole situation wasn't very believable, and it wasn't. All in all it came down to very bad timing, and that's what made it so awful. _If only she'd waited a few weeks to tell me, if only I'd realised sooner._

"You want to talk to him, I can tell." Patricia said suddenly one evening when the two girls were working in their room.

"Huh?"

Mara could pretend that she didn't know what Patricia meant, but it was a lie. Of course she knew what she meant, Jerome had been all she had thought about since she'd made the mental decision that talking to him was bad. It had been stupid to try and get over him by being his friend. The best way to do it would to be nothing. Not a friend, not an acquaintance, nothing. It was how it had to be.

"You know what I mean, Mara." Patricia said, looking truly exasperated. "You should forget all of this pride stuff and talk to the guy."

"It's not about pride, Patricia!" she said sternly. "You _know _that I like him, and it's too hard to pretend anymore!"

"But he's not _asking _you to pretend! It's no shame in liking someone, you need to see that he doesn't care, he just wants to keep you in his life!"

"But he's messing with my head, I can't take it!"

"You're _letting _it mess with your head. Please talk to him, he looks miserable."

Neither said anything else on the subject, but deep down Mara knew that Patricia was right. And it was becoming a matter of head versus heart. Her head was telling her sensibly that she would stop wanting him eventually, that she'd get there faster if she didn't speak to him, if she didn't give herself more reason to fall for him even harder. But her heart craved every moment, every conversation and every fleeting encounter that she shared with Jerome. She wanted to sit by him at mealtimes, she wanted to walk with him to class, she wanted to chat to him like everything was fine, just because she could still dare to hope that he might like her one day. It was impossible, he never would like her, but that tiny hope was enough to see her through the day, that tiny hope was enough to fill her with joy every time his finger accidentally grazed her arm, every time he called her name.

And it was the next day, where Jerome tried as usual to sit by her at breakfast, and for the first time since their fight there was an empty seat. He tried as usual, he smiled at her, desperate to see a response.

And for the first time since the fight, she smiled back.

As usual, Mara's heart was winning.

**Hello.**

**I'm sure many of you forgot I existed, or assumed I wasn't carrying on with this story.**

**I assure you that I'm carrying on, and I'm so so sorry that it's taken me three months to get this out here, I've been trying really hard but I've had a very stressful and packed three months, and I've hardly had any free time at all, so it's taken me a while.**

**I have some time off now where I intend to finish this story off, so rest assured, it will be done :)**

**Oooo, but guess who I met? ;)  
><strong> 

**Once again, really really REALLY sorry, am writing extra speedily to make it up to all of you!**

**3**


	13. Chapter 13

Mara's mouth curled slightly into a smile, and then she turned away nervously, as if she had just realised what she had been doing. Jerome didn't care. It was a smile, it was a start.

So Jerome kept it up, he kept practically following her around, he kept sitting by her when he could, he kept attempting to say something even though she tended to ignore him. Because he needed the contact, he needed the conversation...he needed Mara.

And some days after the fight, Mara finally spoke.

"Hey Mara," said Jerome softly one morning, finding only her in the living room.

At first she didn't speak, she did as she usually did, turning her head so as to block him out. Seeing him would make it worse, seeing him would make her want to talk to him, and she couldn't, she _mustn't_.

"Mara, you can't do this anymore, please talk to me."

Still nothing, though she yearned to turn around, she yearned to look into his eyes and forget everything else.

"Mara?"

His voice cracked slightly, and he cursed himself internally. It shouldn't bother him this much that she wasn't speaking to him. He wouldn't have given it a second thought a few weeks ago, but now she was the person who meant most to him...

She flinched at the sound of his voice. He sounded genuinely hurt, and that wasn't an emotion that Jerome expressed very much. Cautiously, she turned her head, slowly meeting his eyes. _Damn, this would be easier if he wasn't so damn good looking._

"Jerome please...it's for the best."

"Why?" he said, hurt and confused, though slightly thrilled to hear her voice again. Nervously, he slid onto the sofa next to her.

"I _told _you why! It just _hurts, _Jerome!"

"And you're saying this is better? Not talking at all?"

There was a silence, where Mara contemplated this for a moment. Yes, it _was _worse at the moment...but it would get better, surely? Soon there would be a point where she no longer loved Jerome, where she could look at him without her heartbeat accelerating? She just had to get there, and then everything would be better.

But just looking at Jerome now made her realise how much she'd missed him, and at that second all she wanted was to have him back in her life.

"No," she said eventually. "No it's not."

"Then can we be friends again? Please?" he said. _Or more than friends, that would work too..._

"It's just..."

"Just what?"

"You must know what it's like to feel like this, you said it happened to you a year ago...that you...that you.."

"That I loved you, yeah." He cut in, biting his lip. He knew this conversation wasn't ever going to be pleasant, but it was awkward, definitely awkward.

"You loved me?" she whispered, and Jerome swore internally, remembering that he'd never said that the first time round. He was desperate to change to topic, desperate to not mention him liking her or her liking him.

Because now, she wasn't in the same situation as he had been. Now, he liked her, and for all he knew she still liked him as well. But she'd only accuse him of messing with her head around if he told her now, so he had to keep it to himself, even though he was longing to tell her.

But he also couldn't lie to her, he couldn't say that he didn't like her when he did...so it was better to move on, better to not even touch on the subject.

"Mara," he said, choosing his words carefully. "There's no point thinking about the past, think about _now._ Let me back in your life again?"

She paused, knowing better than to push Jerome for information, so she reluctantly moved on. He had been in love with her? _Jerome Clarke?_ It was so out of character, so unexpected, so..._bizarre_.

She let his words replay in her head. The old Mara would have stuck with her decision, she would have acted maturely and sensibly, she would have done what was _right_. But through falling for Jerome and breaking up with Mick, she'd changed. She no longer _wanted _to be the same sensible Mara she always was, for once she wanted to live her life by doing what she wanted.

She stood up, launching herself at him in a fierce hug. He grinned, wrapping his arms around her in return, and trying desperately to ignore the rush he was feeling.

"Thank you," he said softly, resisting the urge to lean in. That could wait, that could wait.

And so everything became more or less back to normal, it was just more _difficult_. Jerome tried his hardest not to upset her, Mara tried her hardest not to get upset. It was more of a strain than before, but within a few days it seemed comfortable again.

And then Jerome got the phonecall.

It was a Friday evening, dinnertime. The fellow students of Anubis house were basking in the glory of one of Trudy's home cooked meals.

"Do you reckon," Alfie was saying, shoving food in his mouth at the same time. "That Victor wears his big brown coat when he's on holiday? Imagine him on a tropical beach if you will..."

Everyone laughed, including Alfie, who sprayed mashed potato spectacularly over the table.

"Alfie! That's disgusting!" shrieked Patricia, wiping potato off her cheek.

"You're lucky none of that went in my hair, Alfie Lewis!" Amber said, glaring at him, though she was laughing as well. Everyone was. It was one of those rare moments where everyone in the house seemed to be getting along and sharing a joke.

"Oh, Alfie!" Trudy scolded, walking into the room. "Jerome sweetie, phone call from you. It's your mum."

She said it casually, but even Trudy was slightly surprised. She tried to turn a blind eye to such matters, but it was obvious that Jerome's parents didn't keep in contact as much as they should.

Jerome stood cautiously, avoiding everyone's gaze as he walked across the room. He had been caught off guard, he couldn't even remember the last time his mum called him. Nervously, he picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jerome! How are you? How's school?" she said on the other end, but Jerome knew that voice. It was faked, it was put on. She didn't really care. He could picture the forced smile that she was probably putting on.

"Fine."

That was all he could say, not wanting to go into detail. She didn't care, so he didn't need to bother.

"Good. Now I have some _wonderful _news!"

"Oh?"

"Yes! I'm getting married! Isn't that amazing! His name's John, and he's..."

Jerome froze again, letting her ramble on about John something or other, replaying her words over and over.

"But what about dad?"

"What _about _your father?" she said, sounding lost. "It's nothing to do with him!"

"You're getting married again, how _isn't _this about him?" Jerome said angrily.

"Well I haven't spoken to him in nearly a year now, he doesn't need to know."

"Wait, _what?_"

"Yes, you remember that we got divorced, and..."

"No, I don't remember you telling me that..." he said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, well now you know. Anyway, so John wants to meet you, so we're sending you a wedding invitation. Bring a friend so you're not, you know..."

There was a silence, and Jerome was too speechless to follow up.

"Bye, Jerome."

He heard the familiar click of his mother hanging up the phone, but for a while he just stood there, the phone clutched to his ear, his body frozen into place. He knew that he often missed out on big family news, he hadn't heard when his uncle had had a heart attack, he had only found out when he had recovered. But his parents getting _divorced? _Wasn't that something that you should tell your son, regardless of whether you liked him or not?

He heard a vague shuffling coming from the dining room, and he turned his head in surprise. As soon as the sounds of footsteps appeared in the hallway he realized how stupid he must look.

"Yeah, so thanks for the money." He said quickly into the phone. "No, I won't spend it all at once. Bye Mum, you're the best."

He slammed the phone down, turning around to see most of the house emerging after dinner. _They don't need to know that your parents don't love you. It's better to pretend you have a normal family than have to face their stupid sympathy every day._

He shot a fake smile at them, before turning swiftly on his heels and walking to his room. He led on his bed, staring at the ceiling, on the brink of tears. He knew his family would never be perfect, it was far from it, but at least there was some form of togetherness.

Now the only thin thread that held his washed up mess of a family together had been ripped to pieces. Now everything was even more broken.


	14. Chapter 14

Mara knocked loudly on the door for the third time, once again not receiving a response.

"Jerome?" she called, slightly irritated by his lack of appearance.

She had come as soon as the others had disappeared. It was obvious something was wrong, though no one else had noticed. Though then again, no one else had any reason to. No one had questioned Jerome's mum sending him money, who would? It was a perfectly normal thing to happen.

Apart from the fact that Mara was the only one who knew, the only one who _really _knew. And unless Jerome had been lying when he told her about his parents, which was unlikely, then something was obviously wrong.

"Jerome I know you're in there."

Still no answer.

"Fine..." she said, opening the door herself.

Jerome was led on his bed silently, staring at the ceiling, not even turning to meet her gaze even though she knew he knew she was there. His eyes were distant, but she could tell he was sad, she could tell something was wrong.

Hesitantly, she perched beside him, and gently placed a hand on his arm. He jumped slightly, though still didn't turn around.

"Jerome, please talk to me. I know something's wrong, and I just want you to know that you can talk to me about it. Please."

His eyes met hers, and for a split second his lips twitched into a smile.

"What happened with your mum, Jerome?"

He sighed, admitting defeat. He should have known that Mara would have sussed him out.

"They got divorced."

Mara's heart sank. She imagined what it would feel like if _her _parents delivered such a blow, and the thought wasn't a nice one.

"Jerome, I'm sorry."

"No, that's not even it. They got divorced a year ago. A _year _ago Mara. And then my mum rings up out of the blue telling me she's getting married again without so much as a _mention _of it."

Mara didn't speak, unable to think of a single thing that would make him feel better.

"I mean," he continued. "I've always known that they didn't care about me, that was obvious. But _this?_ It didn't even occur to them that I might want to know, it didn't even occur to them that they should have told me. There wasn't even some sort of custody battle like there normally is, they just left me. It wasn't worth fighting over who got me because none of them want me. And now she's asking me to go the wedding, and I know it's only because she wants her guy to think that she's nice, she doesn't want him to know that she hates me."

Mara wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and he gave her a hug. They sat like that for a while, Jerome feeling slightly relieved as to have got it all out, Mara in awe over the situation. It made her feel almost guilty that her parents were happy, that her parents were there for her.

They both went to bed that night feeling uneasy. Wind crashed against the house, rattling the windows, whistling through the attic. The sound echoed throughout the rooms, and from different parts of the house, both of them were listening, still wide awake and deep in thought.

Jerome was amazed at how easily he had given in and told Mara everything. She just had some sort of effect on him, he couldn't really explain it. And now he had no idea how he would have been able to deal with this situation had she not been so involved in his life. Somehow she seemed to be one of the last remaining good things in his life.

Now as he lay there, desperately wishing he could fall asleep, he was replaying his mother's phone call over and over in his head. He felt like crying, but he mustn't. _Jerome Clarke does NOT cry. _Though anyone else would've done. It was just Jerome was used to this, he was used to the rejection. He was used to rotting away.

He thought at least, that it would stay a secret between himself and Mara. But this was a house where nothing stayed a secret for too long, and his secret only lasted until breakfast.

"Lots of post today kids," said Trudy, happily bustling into the dining room. Jerome glanced up at the selection of letters in her hand, and his eye was caught by a small glint of gold. He knew what it was. Just as his mother had promised, here was the wedding invitation.

"Oo, this one's from America! Must be for you, Nina..." she continued, handing out various postcards or letters around the group. "And this one's for you, Jerome...oooo!"

Conversation stopped slightly, everyone wondering what had caused Trudy to exclaim quite so much. _Don't say what it is, don't say what it is..._

"Jerome, sweetie, you didn't tell me your mum was getting married!"

_Damn._

"Whooahh, that's pretty big news bro!" Alfie said. "Why didn't you mention it sooner? I thought I was your best friend!"

Jerome took a deep breath, and Mara watched him cautiously, knowing full well that he probably wanted to curl up and disappear right now.

"You _are _my best friend, Alfie." He said calmly, keeping composed. "I just didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"I _love _weddings!" Amber said excitedly. "You get to dress up, and there are flowers everywhere! It's so pretty! Ooo, we should all go!"

"Sorry Amber, looks like Jerome can only bring one other person," said Trudy.

"Can I go?" Amber shrieked.

"No." Jerome said bluntly, and everyone laughed.

"Why not? I'll go suit shopping with you, and..."

"That's why..."

Amber huffed, and everyone laughed again.

"Oh dear though," Trudy said, still examining the card. Jerome wished she'd just give it to him and let this conversation die. "Looks like this must have got lost in the post or something, the weddings only next weekend!"

_Yeah. _Jerome thought to himself. _Either that or my mother didn't bother sending it until right at the last minute._

The excited chatter continued for a while, as well as murmured speculations from people wondering when it was that Jerome's parents had split up. Trudy eventually gave him the card, and he shoved it into his pocket, not needing to gaze at the ornate gold lettering. That card represented everything that was wrong with his life, and he didn't need a reminder.

He rushed away after breakfast, the weekend stretched out in front of him. One week. One week until he had to watch his mother pretend to be nice to him. One week until he had to face what he'd been hiding from for most of his life.

A brisk knock on the door made him jump, and he snapped back into real life. Swinging the door open, he saw Mara standing there, looking sheepish. He couldn't help but smile.

"Well done," she said softly, and he didn't need to ask what it meant, he knew. She'd come to find him after realising he was probably trying to hide himself away from questions and comments about the upcoming wedding. She figured that this was when he'd need her the most.

"Can we just go away from here for a while? I don't think I can stand being here for much longer." He said, leaning over to pick up a jacket. They walked in silence for a while, until Jerome felt he was far enough away from the house. It had been suffocating him.

"It's just..." he said. "I can't believe it's only a week. It's so soon."

"Maybe that's better. Maybe it's easier just to get it over and done with."

"Maybe, but now everyone knows about it. Now I have to pretend to be marginally excited about it, when truthfully I'd rather kiss Victor than have to face this."

Mara giggled slightly, and then quickly grabbed his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before letting go again.

"It'll be ok, you know. All you have to do is get through one simple day, and then it's done."

"What would I do without you, Mara?" he said, smiling. "Thank you though, I'd be going crazy if you weren't here."

There was a silence, the two of them darting quick glances and smiles at each other.

"And er...that reminds me." He continued. "You are coming with me, right? It won't exactly be _fun, _but I could really use, well...you."

Mara smiled, certain that he was going to say 'I could really use a _friend_.' Though he still probably _meant _that, even if she could still dare hope.

"Of course, I'd love to!"

"Thank you. You're going to be personally in charge of making sure I don't lose my mind."

"No pressure or anything..." she said laughing.

At that point, Jerome forgot briefly that his mother was getting married. He forgot that he'd only found out yesterday, he forgot that his parents had split up without telling him. He forgot everything. All that mattered in that instant was the joyous feeling that Mara was coming with him.

And it was almost a date. If you ignored the fact that she was protecting him from a horrible day, it _could _have been a date. Weddings were often good occasions to bring people to, there was food, dancing, it was romantic...and now although it wasn't being called a date, it could _almost _be one.

They stayed out of the house for most of the day, Jerome not wanting to face the others and neither wanting to leave the others company. Mara forgot that she was trying to get over Jerome, and was abnormally cheerful all afternoon, just down to being with him. Other students who walked past them would have instantly assumed they were a couple, because it certainly looked that way.

The week would pass quicker than Jerome was happy with, when it came out that Jerome was taking Mara there would be a few comments, a few jibes and a couple of unhappy glances from Mick, but no one would question it too much. Everyone knew that they were close, it seemed almost obvious that they would go together. Amber would drive Mara crazy with hairstyles and dresses until she eventually agreed to go shopping with her, and Jerome would continue to speak of the wedding as little as he possibly could.

And then the weekend would come, and he would have to face his fears.


	15. Chapter 15

"Ow!" shrieked Mara, as Amber once again burnt her with the curling iron.

"Sorry!" she squealed. "You need to stop fidgeting though! Miracles don't just _happen _you know!"

"Aren't you finished? We have to go soon..."

"Just one more," Amber said, twisting another strand of hair through the curlers, forming a bouncy ringlet. "There, voila!"

Mara glanced in the mirror, grateful for Amber's help, regardless of the two hours she'd been sat here.

"Thanks Amber!" Mara said, standing up as Amber eyed her up and down.

"You know, I still think you should have worn the white dress..."

"Guests don't really _wear _white to weddings though. Besides, this is fine."

The dress Amber had picked after three hours in a shopping centre was pretty, a deep burgundy with brown detailing. It wasn't too short, stopping a few inches above the knee, and was fitted in all the right places. Mara honestly had no idea how Amber did it, but she had an amazing eye when it came to shopping.

"Well, have fun! Take lots of photos, tell me what Jerome's mum's dress looks like!"

"Sure thing," Mara said, laughing slightly. "Bye!"

She walked down the stairs, and was not exactly surprised that Jerome wasn't there yet. He'd barely said a word the day before, fear of the following day had set in badly. She knocked on his door, and then walked in without waiting. They couldn't be late, that was important.

"Mara!" he said, surprised. "You scared me to death! And what if I'd been changing or something!"

She blushed slightly.

"Anyway," he continued. "I'm really starting to think that this might not be a good idea, we should probably just stay here..."

"No way," she said. "How the hell would you explain yourself to everyone if you bailed on your own _mother's _wedding? And plus, you're already dressed for it."

It was the same suit that he'd worn to prom, though he'd swapped the bow tie for a sleek grey tie. He'd never admit to it, but he'd asked Amber to pick it out for him.

He sighed, admitting to himself that Mara was right. The questions would only get worse if he didn't go. And his own mother might hate him even more if he didn't go. He _had _to. He stood up slowly, pausing to look at Mara properly for the first time, and was stunned when he did. She always looked beautiful, but today was something else altogether. The dress, probably Amber's choice, was _perfect_, and the way she was smiling at him right now made him forget about everything other than the girl in front of him.

"Mara, wow..." he said softly. "You look beautiful."

She positively beamed at him, and blushed again. Jerome's eyes widened when he realised that he'd said that out loud, but she didn't seem to mind. She was smiling, so Jerome took that as a good sign.

"Come on," she said, cheeks still flushed. "We need to go, Trudy's got us a taxi outstide."

He paused slightly, taking a breath to calm himself. _It's one day, just one day. It'll be over soon. You can get through this. _

Most of the journey was spent in silence, and Mara didn't try and start a conversation, because she knew Jerome had his mind on other things right now. The taxi ride lasted about an hour, and it pulled up in front of a very stereotypical wedding location, a small church in the middle of the countryside.

"Are you ready?" she asked, and Jerome nodded, opening the car door.

As they walked into the church, Jerome scanned the room, picking out faces of relatives he'd only met a couple of times, and wondered whether they'd recognise him now, or whether they'd bother saying hello if they did.

"Jerome?"

The voice was frail, and Mara turned around to see a woman, who was obviously very, _very _old. Jerome looked at the face of his great grandmother, surprised to see her. The last time they'd met was nearing on ten years ago, and he'd always assumed that she'd died years ago. Though it was a nice surprise. She was the only relative who'd ever seemed genuinely pleased to see him, and it was good to see a friendly face.

"Hello," he said softly with a smile. She beamed at him and gave Mara a quick smile as well.

"I didn't expect to see you today, love! Come sit with me."

She led them to a row about half way back, which Jerome was fine about. Most of the people he didn't want to see would be at the front, and he wanted to stay clear of that.

"Now then, are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"

Both Mara and Jerome flushed slightly, and stuttered slightly awkwardly.

"Err, she's not my girlfriend, she's a very good friend..." he said, hating himself, because she was so much more than that. "This is Mara. Mara, this is my great grandmother."

"Well that's a shame. But nice to meet you dear, call me Sue."

"Nice to meet you too," Mara replied politely, trying to quench the desires to ask endless questions about Jerome's family. As much as she knew, she was aware that there was still probably a lot more to know.

Jerome didn't have much to say to the old woman sat beside him, even though he was immensely grateful to her presence. The only thing that connected them was family, and both knew that that wasn't a topic of conversation to bring up.

"Are you ok?" Mara whispered into his ear, placing a hand tentatively on his arm. "You can go say hello to other people if you want, I'll stay here."

He shook his head.

"There's no one else who I want to talk to, or rather no one else that would want to talk to me. But I'll be ok."

"Look kids, it's starting..." Sue whispered, nudging Jerome and pointing to the back door, which was being opened quietly. Music started, and Jerome gulped nervously as the audience stood up.

He hadn't known how he would react upon seeing his mother again. It had been a long time, and she looked different to the woman he remembered in his mind. Her hair was lighter, yet longer, and she was starting to show subtle signs of aging. As he watched her walking slowly down the aisle in a dress that Amber would have loved, but he thought over the top, he didn't know what to feel. He _should _hate her. He wanted to hate her. She'd neglected him, given up on him, and done her very best to get rid of him out of her life since day one.

But even after all of this, she was his _mother. _No child could well and truly hate their own mother, no matter what they'd done to them. So he was forced to pretend not to care about it all, even though inside it broke him, and seeing her again today in her own happy little world was horrific. Mara shot him a supporting smile, and when everyone came to sit down, he grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together and giving it a squeeze.

Right then it was for support, and they both knew that, even though both of them were secretly ecstatic. And throughout the ceremony neither dared to let go.

By the time they broke each other's grasps in order to applaud the newly married couple, which Jerome did as quietly as humanly possible, Mara had assumed that the worst was over. She had forgotten that now Jerome would actually have to _talk _to his mother, her new husband, and how many other uncaring family members were around.

"I suppose we should get this over with," he muttered as they left the chuch.

There was a few minutes where the two stood awkwardly while the official photos were taken, but then Jerome's mother's eyes met his across the grounds, and she walked over to him. Mara could see Jerome visibly stiffen, and she smiled at him, but he was only watching the woman walking towards him.

"Hello, Jerome." She said, a half smile on her lips, but with cold eyes.

"Hi."

Mara flashed her a warm smile as well, but she wasn't interested, she wasn't even looking at her.

"Now, where's John..." she muttered, scanning the crowd and finally waving her new husband over. A horrible silence passed over them while they waited.

"John!" she said happily, visibly cheering up as he approached. "Come and meet Jerome!"

"Ah!" he said, grabbing Jerome's hand and shaking it briskly. "It's nice to finally meet you!"

"You too," he said, faking a smile.

"Yes," his mother continued. "It's _such _a shame that you two couldn't have met earlier..."

_Liar._

"It's just, he's _so _busy at boarding school right now there's barely a free moment for him to come home! Isn't that right honey?"

_Liar. _

"Yeah, that's right...mum," he lied back, desperate to get this done with. A wedding was no place for a confrontation.

"But it's so lovely that he's here today, I've missed him so much!"

_Big liar._

"Well it _really _is nice to meet you, son." John said, still smiling. "I'm sure you and I will have lots of opportunities to get to know each other now your mother and I are married!"

_Ha. Or not._

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Well, sweetie," his mother said, putting an arm around John's shoulders. "We should probably head to the reception, don't you think? I'll see you there, Jerome darling!"

She leant forward, kissing Jerome swiftly on the cheek, as John smiled at the pair. They walked off together, and Jerome breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Can we sit down?" he asked, and Mara nodded, holding his arm and leading him towards a step.

"Why does she do this?" he asked, head in his hands. "Why does she _pretend _to care about me? That was the first time I've seen her in years, and she didn't even care. She only cared about making John think that she's a loving mum. And the worst thing is, is that John actually seems like a decent guy. He's not like my dad, he's actually _nice. _She doesn't deserve to marry someone like that."

"She doesn't deserve you either," Mara dared to say. "And the worst is over now."

Jerome leant so his head rested on top of hers, more thankful than ever before that she was there, that she was his friend.

"She hates me," was all he managed to say, and she put her arm around him, stroking his back gently.

"I'm sure that deep down, she doesn't hate you. But no matter how bad it is, you shouldn't, _mustn't _hate yourself."

Jerome lifted his head off of hers, and smiled properly for the first time that day. Mara Jaffray, the only person that could make him smile on one of the worse days of his life. The only person that could make him feel happy in a world where everyone seemed to hate him, and the only person he'd ever dared to fall in love with.


	16. Chapter 16

Jerome and Mara were the only ones to walk to the reception. It wasn't exactly very far away, and Jerome made a very nervous speech about it being a nice day, though they both knew it was down to not having anyone to give them a lift.

It did Jerome good though, to have twenty minutes without his family around him, without the slight fear that his mother would spot him and attempt to start another loveless, fake conversation. Mara noticed that by the time they reached the hotel where the reception was taking place, Jerome was acting slightly more like his usual self. He was less reserved, talking more, and laughed a couple of times. Though when they reached the steps leading to the entrance, he had gone significantly pale.

He knew the format of weddings, even though there were rarely any for him to attend. He knew that when he walked up those stairs he would be met with a line of relatives who would shake his hand in turn and make a passing greeting. He knew that he couldn't just walk past it, there was nothing he could do to avoid it.

Mara was watching him intently as they made their way up the stairs, and the line became visible. Jerome could see his mum, John, various uncles and grandparents that had never been interested, and it terrified him. Never in his life had he had to face so many family members at once.

"Do you want me to go first?" Mara whispered, and he nodded, genuinely clueless as to what to say to these people.

Mara was perfect at this type of thing. She fixed a huge grin upon her face, and walked down the line confidently, shaking everyone's hand and making happy comments about how lovely the ceremony was, and how thrilled she was for the 'happy couple'. Jerome followed awkwardly, keeping his head down and only making the briefest flicker of eye contact as he shook hands and mumbled congratulations under his breath.

"Jerome?"

He swore to himself, hating the idea of any form of confrontation. He looked up, and vaguely recognised the face of his uncle, a stern character who on the few meetings they'd shared had been less than happy to see him.

"Hello," he said, a forced smile on his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, failing to cover the hateful undertones of his voice.

"It's my mother's wedding, I was invited." He said bluntly. "Nothing wrong with that..."

Mara turned to see Jerome and the man staring at each other, neither smiling, until Jerome simply nodded and carried on down the line. She saw his mother once again smile and hug him, but Mara also spotted that the smile dropped from her face as soon as John looked away. When Jerome broke away from the line, he looked more broken than she'd ever seen him before.

"Please say we're at least sitting together?" he asked glumly after a few moments silence. "And please say I'm not sitting with any of them..."

When they scanned the seating chart, Jerome wasn't really surprised to find that they were sat on a table right at the very back, with people that Jerome had never heard of. These people were most likely very distant relatives or not very close friends. People that had been invited quite last minute, and weren't deemed to be as important as the other guests. But this wasn't an issue. These strangers would have no clue about Jerome or his relationship with his parents, they wouldn't look down on him or pretend he didn't exist.

And he was with Mara, that was what counted. Because without Mara there, he had no idea how he would face it.

"Can you give me a second?" he said, turning on his heels halfway towards the table. "You go and sit down, I'll be there in a moment."

"Are you ok?" Mara asked, confused, knowing full well that he wasn't, but they couldn't really make a scene in the middle of a wedding reception.

He nodded, and walked off briskly in the direction of the bathrooms. Mara found the table, and found the place card stating '_Guest of Jerome Clarke' _in a posh, curly font style.

"Hello," she said meekly, smiling at the other guests sat at the table. There was a period full of hand shaking and learning names that she knew that she'd forget as soon as the day was over.

"It was a lovely service," Mara said, struggling to think of a conversation starter that a table full of strangers would respond to.

"Oh yes!" a young-ish woman said, perking up. "I thought her dress was _beautiful_, and they do make an excellent couple!"

Mara was relieved as the conversation stayed on similar ground for a while, and she continually leaned over her shoulder for any sign of Jerome coming back. She wasn't focusing entirely on the others until she heard the question she hadn't wanted to hear.

"So, how do you all know the bride and groom?"

This was a question that Mara didn't know how to respond to, mainly because she had no idea how Jerome would respond to it. She had no idea whether the truth would provoke too many questions, whether they would ask why they weren't sat any closer. As everyone explained their connections (which were admittedly not very strong), Mara sat in wait of what was coming.

"And how about you Mara? It is Mara isn't it?"

"Yes, that's right. And, um, I've never actually met them before today, I'm here as a plus one with Jerome..."

She gestured vaguely to the empty seat beside her.

"And how does Jerome know them?"

"He's um...Jerome is..."

"A family friend."

Jerome slid down into the seat beside Mara, who looked noticeably flustered, which he'd realised always happened when she attempted, or contemplated attempting to lie.

"John and my parents were quite close, that's how I know them."

The lie slipped out of his mouth effortlessly, and Mara was more than impressed with his timing. One second longer and she would have either told the truth, or she'd be forced to tell a crazy story that made little sense.

But the other guests seemed to buy the story, and didn't ask any further questions. They settled into a more casual conversation as the food was served, leaving Mara and Jerome able to enjoy a brief moment of each other's company.

It was strange to think that there had been a time where the two of them weren't close, where he would barely say two words to her during the day, and where she wouldn't even contemplate going and talking to him when she didn't need to. And it was all down to Mara's keen eye for observation. She had always been able to spot when Jerome was upset, or if something was bothering him. She had noticed when he'd acted strangely upon the mention of his parents, so long ago, and now she noticed that his eyes glistened slightly when he looked into the light, and how his eyelids were ever so slightly swollen.

He hid it well, and only Mara would have noticed, but she was pretty certain that Jerome Clarke had shed a tear.

As soon as the meal was finished and the speeches had been made, both sat in the relief that the worst was over. From here on out they only had to stay another couple of hours, and it would be easy to avoid people. In theory, he wouldn't have to talk to another family member for the rest of the night.

"So what now?" Mara asked, as they followed the rest of the guests downstairs.

"We'll have to stay for a little bit, just for common courtesy...but then the taxi will get here and we'll go home."

She smiled, as they settled themselves in two seats in a corner.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, glancing up at him, once again forgetting quite how good he looked in a suit.

"I'm...coping." he said, pausing to choose the right word. "I'm not going to pretend that I had a great day, it's been horrible at times...but it's nearly over, I've dealt with it. Soon it will be in the past."

He smiled, trying to think about the positives. If you ignored the horrific encounters with family members that he despised, and the saddening realisation that his mother really _didn't _want him in her life, then the day hadn't been bad. He'd had a day away from the house, which they all craved from time to time, he'd been given a free meal, and most importantly, he'd spent the entire day with Mara. Mara, the girl that he couldn't stop thinking about, who was sat beside him looking absolutely stunning.

He could live with the memories of this day, only because she had been there with him.

"Come on," he said, standing up and stretching out his hand. Because you only live once, and he would have regretted it otherwise.

She shot him a look of confusion, but took his hand and let herself be led to the already crowded dancefloor. All past thoughts, all promises that she'd made to herself, they all fell out of her head. She forgot that she had sworn not to let herself believe that Jerome may still like her, she forgot everything. She just let everything she was thinking be thinking about _now._

The crowded floor meant that no one noticed that they were there, there was no fear of any further confrontations from family members, there was no fear at all. He placed a hand gingerly on her waist, raising her hand that he was still clutching. She held onto his shoulder, her fingertips gently grazing the bare skin on his neck, and they danced, neither speaking, just staring at each other with a strange intensity that neither of them had never felt before.

Jerome could have kissed her, but at that moment the thought didn't even cross his mind, because the moment was perfect. They spun around the floor for what could have been hours, not noticing when a song changed, not caring about the people around them. His lips twitched into a smile, and she blushed, before beaming back at him. He pulled her slightly closer so that their bodies almost touched together, and they continued as they were, dancing together, and not keeping their eyes off each other.

It was only when Mara yawned that Jerome realised that they'd been there much longer than he'd intended to be. He begrudgingly pulled away from her slightly, and gestured towards the door. She nodded, and he led her out of the room, keeping his arm securely around her.

He had hoped to bump into his great grandmother again, but he wasn't prepared to search for her, in fear of bumping into someone much less pleasant.

"Jerome Clarke?" a man called out, leaning out of a taxi window.

"Yeah, that's me."

"You're lucky I'm still here, almost left when you didn't show up an hour ago..." he said slightly begrudgingly, but unlocked the doors for them.

"Thank you Mara," he whispered when the car had set off. "Thank you for getting me through this."

"Anytime," she said. "Honestly. I'm always here when you need me."

She yawned again, and Jerome once again placed an arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him so her head rested on his chest. She fell asleep almost instantly, and Jerome smiled as he watched her.

"I wish you knew," he whispered softly, gently stroking her arm as she slept. "I wish you knew that I think about you all the time, I wish you knew that I would do anything to take back what I said that evening, because none of it's true anymore. There's something about you Mara Jaffray, and I really hope you don't think that I'm leading you on, because I'm not. I just wish you knew that I'm falling in love with you again."

In her sleep, Mara nuzzled herself closer to Jerome's chest, and her lips twitched into a small smile.

**Sorry it's been ages again!**

**Also, apologies if anyone is confused about names...I'd already named Jerome's new step-dad John **_**before **_**his actual dad was named John on the show, so sorry if that was confusing!**


	17. Chapter 17

Mara awoke feeling blissfully happy, and she couldn't quite put her finger on why. Her thoughts flashed back to the night before, and she smiled as the remembered how strong Jerome had stayed when faced with his family, how good the food had been, and how they had danced for hours on end. It would have been the perfect date, had it _actually _been a date.

Jerome too woke up happier than he had been in days, and he also felt a huge surge of relief. He wouldn't have to see or speak to any of his family for probably a long time, and although this would upset most people his age, for him it was comforting. Anubis house was where he now felt a sense of belonging, a true sense of _home_, so it was there that he wanted to stay. His mind flashed back to the wedding, how Mara had slept soundly for the whole journey home, cuddled up tightly into his chest. He was surprised that she hadn't woken, particularly because he was sure his heart was beating uncontrollably, but she had been sound asleep. He'd had to wake her when they arrived at the house, but any memories of the groggy walk up the stairs felt like a distant dream to her now.

"You were back late last night," Patricia said, snapping Mara out of her daze. "Trudy was going ballistic."

"Yeah, we were just having a good night, think we must have lost track of time..." Mara said, yawning.

"So it was good, yeah? I usually _hate _weddings, all those fancy outfits, posh dinners, and sitting around listening to _boring _speeches all day...no thank you!"

Mara giggled slightly, the image of Patricia at a wedding wasn't natural, she was right.

"Yeah it was nice, Jerome's mum seemed really happy!"

_Well, _she thought, _happy to be married at least, not so much to see her own son._

"You coming to breakfast?" Patricia said, throwing a jumper at Mara from across the room. "I think Trudy made waffles..."

Mara threw the jumper on over her pyjamas, and walked groggily down the stairs, yawning again. She rubbed her eyes, and in doing so walked face first into something tall.

"Whoahh, watch it!" said a voice she knew too well, laughing.

She blushed when she realised how close she was to Jerome, and stepped back hastily, though fairly reluctantly.

"Sorry," she said, smiling at him. He smiled back, and for a brief second they just looked at each other in a comfortable silence, until Trudy barged into the hallway.

"_Jerome! Mara!" _she squealed, embracing them both in a bone crushing hug. "I was _convinced _something had happened to you! The others thought I was crazy, but I was there thinking you'd been kidnapped, or you were stranded, or you...you..."

"Relax Trudy," said Jerome, chuckling slightly. "We just got back a bit later than we thought we would, we got a bit...distracted..."

He shot Mara a brief glance, and she smiled, blushing slightly again.

"Well I'm just so relieved you're both ok! Now come on sweeties, there's a nice big breakfast all laid out for you!"

They sat down in their usual spots, gazing awestruck at the mountains of food on the table. Alfie, at one end of the table, was going ballistic. There was no way he could finish the food on his plate, but that didn't stop him adding more cream and more waffles until it was on the verge of toppling.

"So guys!" said Amber, so excited that she was bounding up and down on her chair. "Tell me _everything! _Like, what was the dress like? Did they have a band? What type of flowers were there? Was it roses or lilies? Because roses can look _totally _tacky sometimes, but I guess they're traditional, though..."

"Amber!" Jerome said sharply, stopping the almost incoherent string of words from coming out of her mouth. "Can I get the grilling later? Not really feeling it right now..."

She huffed slightly, and everyone giggled before turning back to the food in front of them.

"Hey Jerome?" Alfie asked as he got up to leave. "Can you help me with something?"

Jerome was confused, Alfie wasn't the type to ask _him _for help...

"Err, yeah, sure buddy...now?"

Alfie nodded eagerly, so Jerome stood up, shooting a quick glimpse at Mara, who was watching him, her lips turned slightly into a small smile. Just her eyes on his made his heart jump a little, and he wanted more than anything just to stay with her for a fraction longer, but Alfie was already halfway out the door.

"What do you need?" Jerome asked after Alfie had led him into their room.

"I need help with something i've been...let's say _pondering _over."

"Oh?" said Jerome, one eyebrow raised in a bemused expression. "What exactly have you been pondering over?"

"I've just been wondering when _you're _going to man up, stop looking at Mara all mushy eyed and tell her how you feel."

"Alfie!" he said, taken by surprise. "What are you even talking about?"

"Quit playing games Jerome, it's so obvious."

"I already told you buddy, I _don't _have feelings for Mara!"

It was a lie, it was fairly blunt, but for Jerome it was instinct. With anyone else other than Mara, showing his true feelings was a sign of weakness, he didn't want Alfie to have any ammunition that could be used against him later.

"But you used to, _everyone _knew that." Alfie said, a cheeky grin forming at the corners of his mouth.

Jerome sighed, exasperated by the conversation, wanting to get back to Mara before she disappeared.

"Fine, yes, but that doesn't have anything to do with now."

"Yes, but I know how you acted before, and it's totally identical to now. Face it man, I have you all sussed out."

Alfie grinned victoriously whilst Jerome struggled to come up with a response. Giving in, Jerome just sighed and looked at the floor, before bringing his eyes up to meet his roommates, who was doing what Jerome would only assume was a victory dance.

"Just _tell _her buddy!" Alfie said happily, walking towards the door, his mission completed. "Before I do myself..."

Jerome only began to panic when the door had been firmly closed and he was left alone. Alfie wouldn't _actually _say anything, would he? Though Jerome knew that even if he didn't mean to, he always had the tendency to just let the slightest details slip. His mind thought back to numerous surprise parties that had been ruined by accidental comments and excited remarks, would this situation be any different?

He couldn't just wait around and let it blow over, he knew that Alfie would let slip something eventually, or just get bored and tell Mara straight.

So he had to tell her, he had to tell her the truth.

With a sudden burst of courage, he marched back into the kitchen, where Mara was still sat, idly chatting with Patricia.

"Hi Jerome!" she said smiling, and the look on her face made Jerome even more desperate to tell her how he felt.

"Slimeball..." said Patricia with an uninterested nod.

"Mara can I talk to you?" he said, quicker than normal, losing his suave more and more with every second. But he was hyped now, he had to do this. He _wanted _to do this.

All he could do now was tell her the truth.

**Short, and been aaggeeeeess I know, but it's something, sorry!**


	18. Chapter 18

Mara sat on the edge of Jerome's bed, strangely nervous. Jerome was suddenly acting a lot more seriously than normal, he had a hard expression on his face, and any of the joking that they usually shared had temporarily vanished. For now, he seemed determined to actually talk about something.

Jerome was slowly pacing up and down the room, growing increasingly bothered by the growing silence in the room which had long since passed the comfortable stage. He was aware that Mara watched him, and was aware that she was concerned about his sudden behaviour change. But it had to be now, it had to be.

"Mara..." he said suddenly, stopping pacing and looking at her directly in the eyes.

"What is it? Are you OK?" she said, suddenly worried. Was it his parents? Did he have to see them again?

"Yeah, I'm fine...well actually, no I'm not..." he said, looking at the floor, suddenly afraid. "I need to say something, but I'm worried at how you'll react to it..."

Mara sat, thoughts racing in her mind. Had he realised that being friends was a mistake? Did he prefer it when they weren't speaking at all? Did he want her out of his life?

"What is it?" she asked cautiously.

"Promise me you won't get angry."

_This was it, he really didn't want to be friends anymore._

"I promise." She said, because if he told her to leave him alone, she wouldn't be angry. Devastated, but not angry.

"Really?"

She simply nodded, and Jerome heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe if he could just explain everything then it would be fine, and they could be together...

"Look Mara, I know that it's been a strange few weeks, especially between us...and I know that this is going to sound like I was lying before, but I wasn't...I've just realised recently that what I wanted before isn't what I want now, and..."

He stopped talking when he risked a glance at her, and noticed a single tear streaming down the side of her face.

"Oh god, Mara don't cry!" he said, panicking, sitting down next to her and placing an arm gingerly around her shoulders. "You're meant to be _happy _about this!"

"Happy?!" she said, her voice getting louder and more tears leaking from her eyes. "You think I'm _happy _that you don't want to be friends anymore?"

"What?" he said, confused. "No! Mara, that's not what I meant?!"

She shook his arm off from around her shoulders, mind spinning in a state of confusion. How could he say it wasn't what he meant?! It was so damn _obvious _what he meant, why was he making it worse? Why was he saying it at all?

"Mara, I'm not trying to say that I don't want to keep being your friend! Well in some cases I am, but not in the way that you think..."

"_Stop it!" _she shouted. "Just _stop! _All this time you've been doing nothing but mess with my head, and every time I think everything's _finally _back to normal you change your mind! Do you have _any _idea how this makes _me _feel?!"

She stood up, tears flowing freely now, and walked towards the door. She couldn't be dealing with this anymore, she wasn't going to let herself get hurt again.

"Mara, _no!_" Jerome said desperately, shocked as to how this had turned out. "Can you just listen to me? I'm not trying to say that I don't want to be friends with you, I'm trying to say that I think I just might be in love with you."

The silence that followed was only for a few seconds, but for each of them it felt like an eternity. For Jerome, he had just thrown everything on the line. All the lies, all the deceit, all the emotional barriers he had spent years building up had come crashing down around him, and he stood there, raw, exposed. Mara stood frozen, one hand on the door handle, tears running down her face.

"What did you say?" she said, no louder than a whisper.

"I said that I love you, Mara."

She turned her head slightly, reeling with shock.

"Please don't do this Jerome...I can tolerate your little jokes about _anything, _but not this. This is too far."

"Wait, _what?_ Mara this isn't a joke..."

"You _know _how I feel about you, and you _know _that you really hurt me before! Why would you mess with my head even more? Why would you allow me that little fragment of hope? Do you like watching me spill my soul just for you to crush it again?"

"_No_, Mara! I promise, I mean it..."

She looked at him, her face settled in a glare, unable to take in how shocked she was, so full of anger and hurt that she didn't even take the time to consider that maybe he was telling the truth.

"I can't deal with this anymore, Jerome."

Jerome didn't really have the time to stop her, because before he knew she had marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her. He stood there motionless for a while, confused. He had assumed that she would have been a little annoyed, but the end to the conversation hadn't been anything like he'd imagined. Fantasies of how the long awaited start of their relationship would be were soon replaced with the realisation that Mara was gone.

"What's he done now?" Patricia said in a slightly bemused tone as Mara stormed through the hallway. But she didn't stop to answer her, she only opened the front door, stepped outside, and kept walking. She needed to be away, and she needed to be alone.

Jerome wanted desperately to go after her, but he knew Mara too well to think that would be a good idea. She needed time to calm down, time to actually think, and then maybe she would hear what he had to say and understand that he meant it. Going to talk to her now would be like deliberately putting a stop to anything that could happen between them, it would be the worst possible thing.

He would wait. It would nearly kill him, but he would wait.

Meanwhile, Mara walked. She focused entirely on walking, so as to block out the vast array of emotions that were screaming out to her inside her head, to block out how much she hated Jerome right then, and mainly to block out the tiny part of her that wanted to go back and believe that what he had said was true.

She walked, lost in her thoughts, lost in her inner turmoil, until she was simply lost.


End file.
